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RIP Disguised as Something Clever
2004-2008
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Sunday, March 30, 2008
the heavy heart
Sometimes I am positive that I am misunderstood 85% of the time that I communicate. Especially with people that I love. Especially those. I wish I could change this. I know that I can, though. So I'm not sure why I chose to use the word "wish". Therein lies the real problem, I believe.
I choose my words poorly. I speak before I think. I must be more deliberate if I ever hope to truly get my point across.
Right now, my head hurts so terribly bad. I would say that I am tremendously sad, if it weren't for the amazing things that God has been doing in my life. I wish that I could re-do alot of the things that I've done during this school year (There, I think that is the way the word "wish" should be used). I salute the concept that my freshman year in college is a learning year. Oh, how I've learned. I just feel like I have made alot of really stupid decisions that I've learned not to make many times in the past. But maybe that's what learning is - learning and re-learning and then learning some more. It has begun to get old, so I'd like to fervently seek to overcome some obstacles in my life during the next few weeks. I appreciate your prayers so much.
Spring break has come and gone in a blur. It seems like just yesterday that I was loading up my car and hitting the open road toward 10 days of unadulterated freedom and all the sand and sunshine any boy could ask for. And here I sit, 5:30 on Sunday morning, the day that I am packing back up and beginning the long drive back to Nashville. The break was good and much needed, though. The weather at the beach was a little bit chilly for my liking, but I enjoyed getting away from everything/one for awhile. I'm looking forward to seeing what the rest of this semester has in store for me. I've been on my toes every since I've gotten to Belmont, and things always seem to be surprising me, so I'm sure that I have an eventful month ahead of me before summer officially begins.
love, steven.
I choose my words poorly. I speak before I think. I must be more deliberate if I ever hope to truly get my point across.
Right now, my head hurts so terribly bad. I would say that I am tremendously sad, if it weren't for the amazing things that God has been doing in my life. I wish that I could re-do alot of the things that I've done during this school year (There, I think that is the way the word "wish" should be used). I salute the concept that my freshman year in college is a learning year. Oh, how I've learned. I just feel like I have made alot of really stupid decisions that I've learned not to make many times in the past. But maybe that's what learning is - learning and re-learning and then learning some more. It has begun to get old, so I'd like to fervently seek to overcome some obstacles in my life during the next few weeks. I appreciate your prayers so much.
Spring break has come and gone in a blur. It seems like just yesterday that I was loading up my car and hitting the open road toward 10 days of unadulterated freedom and all the sand and sunshine any boy could ask for. And here I sit, 5:30 on Sunday morning, the day that I am packing back up and beginning the long drive back to Nashville. The break was good and much needed, though. The weather at the beach was a little bit chilly for my liking, but I enjoyed getting away from everything/one for awhile. I'm looking forward to seeing what the rest of this semester has in store for me. I've been on my toes every since I've gotten to Belmont, and things always seem to be surprising me, so I'm sure that I have an eventful month ahead of me before summer officially begins.
love, steven.
Sunday, March 02, 2008
i write to keep the sleep away
So I'm in Knoxville for the weekend...
(I thought that maybe if I started this post off casually, maybe I could avoid the uncomfortable awkwardness of posting for the first time in a really long time. I was wrong.)
But I really am in Knoxville for the weekend. I'm actually leaving tomorrow (Which is actually today) to go back to Nashville. It's hard to believe how quickly this year has gone by. Am I seriously 1/4 of the way through college? I guess staying busy has helped to pass the time. I've certainly been busy, as indicated by my last post... and by the date of my last post.
I have not intentionally neglected blogging. I've just had to get acclimated to this brand new environment that is Belmont University. I think that I'm getting to the point where I can balance academics, music, social things, and blogging and still stay sane. But I guess we'll have to see about the blogging part. I can't make any promises, but I can definitely say that I have been inspired by Kristian, Anna, Troy, and now Justin (who has recently joined the blogging world. congratulations) to keep up the writing. So that is what I intend to do.
By the way, since I last posted, my entire family has visited me in Nashville! A few weekends ago, my parents, grandma, and two little brothers were able to visit. And last weekend, Leah, Anna, Kristian, Justin, Andy, Abby, Troy, Elsie, Matias, and Judah came to see me! It was wonderful being able to share with them my new "home" (whatever that means) and let them meet some of my friends here. They were also able to see me play a couple of shows with the Kopecky Family Band (http://www.myspace.com/kopeckyfamilyband).
It's nearly 5 AM here in Knoxville. I have been tossing and turning in bed for a little bit and thought that maybe it was time to break my blogging silence. Maybe now my spirit will be able to rest easy in this cold dark room in which it is dwelling.
Here's a picture for you, though. Goodnight my dear friends.
(Photo courtesy of Lauren Maus)
This was at a house show at my friend Ive's house. It was great fun.
(I thought that maybe if I started this post off casually, maybe I could avoid the uncomfortable awkwardness of posting for the first time in a really long time. I was wrong.)
But I really am in Knoxville for the weekend. I'm actually leaving tomorrow (Which is actually today) to go back to Nashville. It's hard to believe how quickly this year has gone by. Am I seriously 1/4 of the way through college? I guess staying busy has helped to pass the time. I've certainly been busy, as indicated by my last post... and by the date of my last post.
I have not intentionally neglected blogging. I've just had to get acclimated to this brand new environment that is Belmont University. I think that I'm getting to the point where I can balance academics, music, social things, and blogging and still stay sane. But I guess we'll have to see about the blogging part. I can't make any promises, but I can definitely say that I have been inspired by Kristian, Anna, Troy, and now Justin (who has recently joined the blogging world. congratulations) to keep up the writing. So that is what I intend to do.
By the way, since I last posted, my entire family has visited me in Nashville! A few weekends ago, my parents, grandma, and two little brothers were able to visit. And last weekend, Leah, Anna, Kristian, Justin, Andy, Abby, Troy, Elsie, Matias, and Judah came to see me! It was wonderful being able to share with them my new "home" (whatever that means) and let them meet some of my friends here. They were also able to see me play a couple of shows with the Kopecky Family Band (http://www.myspace.com/kopeckyfamilyband).
It's nearly 5 AM here in Knoxville. I have been tossing and turning in bed for a little bit and thought that maybe it was time to break my blogging silence. Maybe now my spirit will be able to rest easy in this cold dark room in which it is dwelling.
Here's a picture for you, though. Goodnight my dear friends.
(Photo courtesy of Lauren Maus)
This was at a house show at my friend Ive's house. It was great fun.
Monday, October 08, 2007
i've been busier than i ever expected for the last couple of weeks. school + social interaction + music + music + school = no time to even think about writing on here. lately i've been wondering what the real benefit of my writing on here is. i suppose i've been inspired to question these things by one of Kristian's recent blogs (http://tjemsland.blogspot.com). I have really been meaning to do more with this page; honestly, i've been hoping to even fashion a new page design. however, with my recent lack of time to do such things (see formula above), it has been impossible for me to do so.
today i went cliff jumping and cut my foot on a piece of glass, but i'm okay.
right now i'm watching donnie darko with some friends.
i mainly wanted everyone to know that i'm alive
and prospering.
today i went cliff jumping and cut my foot on a piece of glass, but i'm okay.
right now i'm watching donnie darko with some friends.
i mainly wanted everyone to know that i'm alive
and prospering.
Sunday, September 09, 2007
Saturday, September 01, 2007
home!
this is going to be a pretty short post, because i'm not really in the mood to write. but there are a few things that i'd like to address.
1. i am in greenwood for the weekend (labor day!) and i go back to nashville on monday. yeehoo. i'm happy to be home for a bit.
2. you may have noticed that my blog has changed in a couple of very small ways. all of my links that were on the side have disappeared and my comments have changed.
3. in the next couple weeks, a new blog will be born, and will probably be found at a new address as well. just give it time.
okay, bye.
1. i am in greenwood for the weekend (labor day!) and i go back to nashville on monday. yeehoo. i'm happy to be home for a bit.
2. you may have noticed that my blog has changed in a couple of very small ways. all of my links that were on the side have disappeared and my comments have changed.
3. in the next couple weeks, a new blog will be born, and will probably be found at a new address as well. just give it time.
okay, bye.
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
20 minutes
I have twenty minutes until my next class starts. I'm sitting outside the classroom as we speak. I can't remember why I got here so early. I guess it's because I've been in such a rush lately, I thought it would be nice to relax a little bit. I need to do it more often. So far, every sentence that I have written in this post (Besides this one) has started with some form of "I". That's depressing.
The book that I am reading right now (besides academic ones) is called "A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius". The author is Dave Eggers. Sometimes I really enjoy his writing style. But sometimes it really frustrates me. The times that I enjoy it, I think it is due to his candor in the way that he writes. It sometimes frustrates me because I think sometimes it reminds me of myself. Most of the writing revolves around the main character (Who I believe is Dave Eggers, himself). While this is a realistic view (Because most people's thoughts revolve around themselves. I emphasize "most"), it is also a disheartening one. It brings to light how little I really think of others. And though I feel like I do a pretty good job of being considerate, I'm pretty sure that I don't do as good of a job as I'd like to think. Don't misunderstand me, though. Because thus far, this book is one of my favorites ever. It is really an eye-opener, though. I'd advise most people to read it. But not everyone. I especially wouldn't recommend it to anyone sensitive to foul language. Because there is a hefty portion of it in the book. Dave Eggers is a very skilled writer, though.
(I'm only halfway through. For what it's worth.)
Exactly ten minutes.
Directly after this class is over, at around 2:50, I will walk from this building to Maddox. I will spend about an hour working on math, and then hopefully join up with a friend to spend some time reading. I am learning to not be in a hurry. I mentioned that in the post prior to this one. But everyday, I see more and more how important it is.
I am waiting expectantly for the arrival of the used books that I ordered last week. I feel a strange bond to pregnant mothers who await the arrival of their unborn child; no one really knows when it will arrive, but it certainly has taken far too long. I hope to never again write such an awkward similie. I'm sorry.
Class is about to start, I think.
The book that I am reading right now (besides academic ones) is called "A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius". The author is Dave Eggers. Sometimes I really enjoy his writing style. But sometimes it really frustrates me. The times that I enjoy it, I think it is due to his candor in the way that he writes. It sometimes frustrates me because I think sometimes it reminds me of myself. Most of the writing revolves around the main character (Who I believe is Dave Eggers, himself). While this is a realistic view (Because most people's thoughts revolve around themselves. I emphasize "most"), it is also a disheartening one. It brings to light how little I really think of others. And though I feel like I do a pretty good job of being considerate, I'm pretty sure that I don't do as good of a job as I'd like to think. Don't misunderstand me, though. Because thus far, this book is one of my favorites ever. It is really an eye-opener, though. I'd advise most people to read it. But not everyone. I especially wouldn't recommend it to anyone sensitive to foul language. Because there is a hefty portion of it in the book. Dave Eggers is a very skilled writer, though.
(I'm only halfway through. For what it's worth.)
Exactly ten minutes.
Directly after this class is over, at around 2:50, I will walk from this building to Maddox. I will spend about an hour working on math, and then hopefully join up with a friend to spend some time reading. I am learning to not be in a hurry. I mentioned that in the post prior to this one. But everyday, I see more and more how important it is.
I am waiting expectantly for the arrival of the used books that I ordered last week. I feel a strange bond to pregnant mothers who await the arrival of their unborn child; no one really knows when it will arrive, but it certainly has taken far too long. I hope to never again write such an awkward similie. I'm sorry.
Class is about to start, I think.
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