she's all i got, and i don't want to be alone

weezer's 'pinkerton' is almost too good. i think i forgot about it for a period of time. two days ago i was reminded. and have been constantly reminded since then.

friday night was 'midnight madness' at gcs, which is (for you faith people) like talent night, but also kicks off the basketball season for the school. so we have this talent thing starting at seven, then afterwards, at around midnight, basketball games commence. i was in...4 acts. one being my class act, which involves everyone in my class. since this midnight madness was the 10th anniversary or something, we decided to reinact the 'best performances' from the last 10 years. it was a good idea, but the sound system...sort of...did us wrong. so it ended up being disasterous. but at least we had fun...and hey! we got a toilet scrubber (representing the Random Award)....how cool is that? i also performed a song that i wrote, along with ashby, fle, and jonathan. it could've gone better, but i think it was okay. then i did two other off the wall things with the soccer team...it was fun.

afterwards, i went with justin and andy to huddle house, where we were met by a somewhat hefty group of GCS high school students..it was heartwarming seeing so many familiar faces at 1:30 AM. i ate a waffle. andy ate a strawberry waffle, justin ate a 'big breakfast platter', as did tim. then i slept at andy's.

and now i'm here. and i have alot of work to do today..

by the way - it's sunday. nothing interesting happened on saturday, believe me.

ordered...

On their way: Sleeping at Last, Saves the Day, and Armor for Sleep.


the anticipation.

this is the sound of settling

i've made a discovery, probably one that most everyone else has noticed by now. over the past few weeks, i've been pretty moody. one day i'll be fine, the next day i'll be gloomy, the next day i'll be passive, and the next i won't. i just don't know what it is. i guess i could blame several things - sleep deprivation, school work, and all of the other affairs that i involve myself in, most of which i probably shouldn't bother with. but i do, and that's all. hopefully sometime soon i'll be able to regain the emotional stability that i once grasped so firmly.

i have a little list of cds that i plan on buying soon.. and after i buy these, it may be awhile before i buy more. again, my income leaves something to be desired.

• Sleeping at Last - Ghosts [$6.00]
• The Pale - Gravity Gets Things Done [$8.00]
• The Wannadies - The Wannadies [$4.00]
• The Anniversary - Your Majesty [$8.00]
• Starflyer 59 - Americana [$6.00]
• Armor for Sleep - Dream to Make Believe [$7.00]
• Saves the Day - In Reverie [$7.00]

yes, the prices are ridiculous. i have my ways...

in a week or so i'll be starting music lessons, mainly to learn to read music, since i can't presently. i figure that this will help me greatly if i ever decide to pursue music in college, which chances are, i will. i'm a bit ansy about it though, because i've always been awful at following notes...i always get the basic tune of a piece, then make up the rest. bad habit.

i have a biology test tomorrow... and i just finished typing a 3 page study sheet. i really need to keep my grades up, unless they've already dropped, in which case i will need to bring them up. i also have a spanish test tomorrow. i used to do well in spanish, but i've sort of lost my knack. maybe i'm just not trying anymore? that would be sad. i'm really like the prince of procrastination. i always put things off, and i'm so poorly motivated to do anything school-related. it's surprising that i'm doing as well as i am. i also have a history quiz tomorrow - but we've had quizzes every day this week, so it's nothing out of the ordinary. and algebra? i won't go there. it's easy...and that's really all there is to it.

[listening to: title track - death cab for cutie]

i might laugh if it happened to someone else

i am so incredibly tired, i'm almost to the point of numbness. my face is burning, and i can only attribute the burning to fatigue, seeing as i don't have a fever. has anyone else experienced this sort of thing? i also have a feeling in the back of my throat right before it starts to get sore. i'm expecting at any moment for my throat to erupt into a full-fledged 'sore throat'. i also have a headache. but i guess this is what i get for participating in the 10 hour drive today. then again, i didn't have much of a choice in the matter.

once we were there, it was fine ( I was at Belhaven, by the way). I liked the campus alot, along with the students. they were very...acommidating. i also believe that i just butchered that word. someone tell me the correct way to spell it. anyhow, i'd definitely consider the school as something to check out in the future. the distance is nothing short of awful, though.

i bought the new-er united live album while there. it's good. i'm not sure when i last bought a worship cd. last i remember it was in the philippines. and that's awhile back.

the copeland concert on wednesday isn't looking good for me. neither is school tomorrow, actually.

neither is tonight...

or this week...

or next...


[mood: neutral]

all our fears fall on deaf ears tonight

tomorrow i wake up to embark on a 9 hour journey to jackson, mississippi. namely, belhaven college. the purpose of the trip? kara funke, a close friend of our family is playing a big role in a play down there, so our family (excluding the twins) and the funke family are both travelling down there to watch. i hope to drive part of the way down there, to acquaint myself with interstate driving. apart from that, my sister and i will be entertaining ourself with movies that she is renting tonight (i requested titles such as spaceballs, strange brew, planes trains and automobiles, etc..). movies of that nature tend to keep me occupied like no other. i'll be staying in a dorm room with a guy that i don't know. why? i'm not sure. my mom asked me about a month ago if i'd be okay with it, and i just said "sure, whatever". i'm having second thoughts. i did hear rumor that he "likes to play guitar", though. so that may be a good thing. we'll see. just keep me in your thoughts this weekend, who knows what i'll be doing. i'll be returning to good ol' greenwood sunday morning sometime.

guess what? this afternoon happened to be one of my most introspective afternoons of the month. but then again, the month only began a few days ago. nonetheless, you'd think that after these few solid weeks of doing deep thinking i'd start settling down. well, i haven't. still going strong in the contemplative department.

once i get a job, there are a few cds that i am planning on purchasing. here's a rough list of what i'm looking at.

• Sleeping at Last - Ghosts
• The Pale - Gravity Gets Things Done
• The Wannadies - s/t
• Counting Crows - Recovering the Satellites
• The Strokes - Is this it?

there are more besides those, they just aren't coming to mind at the moment. now i'm sure many of you are asking, why not just copy the cd from a friend? well, i have this thing about burning cds. i'm not against it, because i do it often. but sometimes a cd is worth owning. i very rarely burn and keep a cd for a long period of time that i really like... i usually end up buying it. because there is something special about owning the cd, and unwrapping it, and pulling it from the case for the first time. new cds also have a distinct smell... i'm not sure if anyone else has noticed, but i have.

i suppose i'll be hitting the sack pretty soon here. i need to pack some clothes and such... then i'll be good to go. honestly, i could use your prayers over the next week. things aren't bad, but there are certainly trials in store...

...one more thing. this past week at GPC we were discussing a verse in the Bible that talked about running the race with perseverence, and something came to me. i think the Bible puts alot of stress on this point for specific reasons, one being this: we need to run the race to the end. i think often times Christians think that if they serve God with intense passion for 20 years, that they've done enough. they've served God all they can, and then they get to take a break. this may not always be the exact mindset, but i doubt there are many that are much different from this. we should seek to serve God until our last breath exits our body. is that not why we exist? why postpone our ultimate purpose in life? we're to bite the bullet, endure the hardships, and run this race with endurance until the very end.

goodnight, all.

[listening to: start/stop - the pale]

you're always leaving

i've been in a very starflyer59ish mood lately. or maybe i just never realized how much i like them before. or maybe both. either way, i've been listening to them alot, and i desire more of their albums. i am currently rekindling my love for the 'leave here a stranger' cd. i like it alot.

today after school i went job hunting with jon, ashby, stephen and ghandi. went to the mall, and to my displeasure, you must be 18 to work at Sam Goody, Walden Books, and Hibbet sports. so i struck out today, but i did begin to fill out an application for chick-fil-a. why didn't i finish filling it out? wellll you see, while i was filling it out, the manager came out and began to talk to me. asked me my age, and seemed content with me being 16. she proceeded to tell me, "by the way, you'll need to cut your..." motioning to my cheeks. i helped her out by guessing, "sideburns?". "yeah, those...". after she walked away, i tossed the application into the garbage, and left. not in a huff or anything, i just didn't feel that working at chick-fil-a would be worth the removal of my sideburns. haha, 'removal'. it sounds so...drastic. anyways, i plan to check newell's tomorrow. it's one of my last resorts...and with my luck, they'll probably need me to be 18 or something as well.

so let's see... i'm tired. i haven't done any homework. and i'm going to go to sleep. tomorrow is friday for me, since i'm going to mississippi on friday.

there are so many rumors going around. and it was a really big deal to me last week, but i've sort of found humor in it all, as of today. so that's one less thing i need to worry my mind with.


[listening to: i like your photographs - starflyer 59]
[mood: unconcerned]

cut these hands free

i could have accomplished so much more today. but with what i've done, i'm glad.

yes, today were the long anticipated elections. i woke up this morning at the moores to the phone ringing. no one would answer it... but i continued to lay on the couch because it was comfortable..and i didn't want to move. but i eventually got up because i wasn't able to fall back asleep. turned on the news and watched for awhile. i ate a honeybun for breakfast. i really need to eat some salad or something sometime soon. because i really feel like a big honeybun. haha. sort of. my dad picked me up there and i went home and showered and such.

this afternoon i did no work. really. didn't do a thing. i played alot of guitar, cut alot of grass (which i suppose constitutes as work), then left the house at around 4:10 or so to meet mary beth at the bowling alley/putt putt place. after we had an online putt-putting competition (that i won, by the way) she decided that we should see who was really "better".... and i would've of course won...if we had played. it was closed, because it rained or something. so we bowled. and i did awful. i scored 41. and that is really the worst i have ever done in my entire life. i believe i was bowling above 50 at age 8. you may be asking yourself, 'why did he do so poorly?' well, i'll tell you. we were bowling on lane number 5. and 5 is my unlucky number... or it is now. after we bowled, we tried to play air hockey. and it was broken. we discovered it's 'broken-ness' after i had already inserted three tokens. but i was refunded, thankfully. we resorted to skee-ball, and all was well.

after leaving there, we weren't sure what to do. it was around 5:00, and i had to be at the Coffee and Dessert Company at 5:30. so we drove around for a bit, and then she dropped me off at Coffee and Dessert at 5:33. which is about as close to being 5:30 you can be without being anything in between or before.

did that last sentence make sense? think about it, and i think you'll understand. i almost erased it, but i sort of like it.

then fusion. it went well, and that's all. oh wait - i broke on of J.R.'s bass guitar strings. the E string actually, which is quite a feat. or maybe it was just an old string. anyways, i went with Corey to his apartment to get his bass, then returned. then went to mcdonald's and got fries and a drink. then returned. then played. then left.

Andy has decided to assist me, as well as take part in, my web-journalism venture. we'll see how it shapes out. i'm still in 'brainstorm' mode. but i'll keep you updated.

i'm having a terrible time emailing friends. someone tell me an easy way to do it, because i'm finding it very difficult.

and that's all. goodnight to you all.


[listening to: changes are no good - the stills]
[mood: jolly]

shoulder the blame

today i was hoping to apply for a job - either at sam goody or walden books. i was able to do neither. i was thinking that someone would be willing to give me a ride to the mall so that i could do so, but no one could. as is the life of one without a license. i'll try again on wednesday.

after deciding that i wouldn't be able to apply anywhere today, i went with stephen, ghandi, ashby, and fle to play soccer at the Y. and it was fun. i miss it alot, but i've come to the realization that i'm really not good. but i still enjoy it. i cut my arm on the goal (don't ask me how) so there is this long scratch on my forearm. it didn't bleed much, but my upper forearm is really really tense.. and it hurts.

tonight i have fusion practice from 7:30-9:30. i wanted to do something afterwards with...anyone. the guys get done with basketball practice at around 9:00. we'll see, i suppose.


my dad mentioned a couple of weeks ago, that if i were to indeed pursue journalism, which may end up being the case, it would probably be helpful to have a portfolio of some sort of things that i've done. i'm contemplating creating a site for such things. but seeing as i'm horrible with web-related ventures, i may have some trouble. if anyone wants to help, i'd be happy.

well, i think i'm going to try to nap. i'm exhausted.

if i was wrong then i was wrong

tonight i was a little bit frustrated. i was told some news that i didn't necessarily want to hear, but i'm sure i'd find out anyways. but it puts alot question into my mind about some people. i'm not even going to get into it though...

i went to a church picnic this afternoon, and met tim there. we ate, played soccer a little bit, then left. tim officially had the worst night of driving tonight, ever. he made so many..mistakes. anyways, we went to GPC and talked to some people there, then went and did stuff.

and then i went to the stumbo's to wait for anna to pick me up, and i talked to isaac and tim for awhile. and it was informative..

this song, night swimming (by R.E.M.) brings back so many memories. wow...it's really weird.


[listening to: night swimming - R.E.M.]
[mood: pre-sleep]

some things never change

last night i went to katie's house, where we gave candy out to trick-or-treaters. it was pretty entertaining, seeing the different costumes. there were some really cute ones. i must say, sometimes i miss dressing up....sometimes. but caroline and i decided that we were dressed up as "weezer fans", since we both wore our weezer shirts without planning it.

we all took a long walk around the neighborhood, which was pretty fun. a little ways into the walk, i became really... quiet. every now and then i get into these moods, and i just...think. i didn't feel like i quite fit, where i was. i'm really not sure what it was, but i felt awfully unsocial... and i hate being that way. i just started thinking about the philippines... not that i'd rather be there. but i wouldn't not want to be. and that's confusing, so if you don't get it, don't worry about it.

i had about 15 other things on my mind besides the whole 'philippines/greenwood' thing. otherwise, i had a really great time last night.

after i got home, i had a long talk with caroline about stuff. i'm glad that...we talked. but it makes me wonder about some things. i don't know. i really can't explain it right now, so i'll just leave it alone, and hope that it will work itself out.

i love taking pictures from my sister's photo album :) anyways, i just thought that this was worth sharing. 

hunting a pond-yeti

Yes, a Pond-Yeti. A Yeti that lives in ponds.

Last night, Fle, Ashby, and myself rode with Katie and Erin to Caroline Pinsons house. Clarke and Katie Fyock were also there, and Mary Beth rode over as well. Caroline (Clarke), Katie, Katie, and Ashby all rode off into the foggy night on the golf cart - by the way, this neighborhood that Caroline lives in is a semi-wealthy one, and the night is foggier than usual, making it all the more fun. Caroline, Erin, Fle, Mary Beth and I decided to walk around the neighborhood.

We ended up at this old cemetery. I don't know about you, but few things in this world scare me more than a foggy cemetery during night hours. As we entered, I pointed out a huddled mass by a tree to Mary Beth. She promptly decided to go investigate. So i followed. I was honestly expecting it to be some sort of undead creature guarding the cemetery grounds. to all of our disappointment, it was only a part of the tree. After we left the cemetery, we walked farther around the neighborhood, and had a cop pass us and shine his little light on us.

Let me take this moment to make clear that I've had very bad experiences with policemen in the past. For those of you who know me, you knew that, and for those of you who don't....well...I just told you.

Anyhow, later, as we were passing the pond, Mary Beth and I spotted these footprints leading to/from the pond. And they were really....peculiar. They were either really HUGE feet, or really small feet with at times huge stride. We saw more footprints everynow and then along the way. And although I didn't make mention of it, I was convinced that these tracks belonged to a large Pond Yeti, that at any moment would emerge from the depths and drag me into his underwater home.

After we got back to Caroline's house, we watched Friends for a little while. Mary Beth left. Then Caroline drove Caroline and Katie home. then Erin drove me, fle, and ashby home.


and it was a good night.

i'm not sure what i'm doing tonight, but i might be going to the hinrich's. we'll see. i'm so ecstatic about it being saturday. i love weekends.


[listening to: mistakes we knew we were making - straylight run]
[mood: goooood]

greetings from the asian food store!

Today, my parents, along with my two brothers and grandparents went to Greenville. While there they visited the Asian Food Store. To my delight, they returned with all sorts of things that we used to have in the Philippines. It makes me happy. If I had no self-restraint, I'd be feasting unceasingly. Is unceasingly a word? Anyways...

Tomorrow I hope to go see the Grudge with a bunch of people. we'll see if it works out.

By the way - i am no longer discouraged. in case anyone was wondering. i'll write more about it later.

I've posted pictures of my Asian Food Store treasures. enjoy.

[listening to: tiny vessels - deathcab for cutie]
[mood: so much better]

Nagaraya Cracker Nuts - You really don't know how long I've been craving these. They also come in Spicy and Original flavors.  

little jelly things. they are delicious. 

A Pomelo - A sour/sweet filipino fruit, similar to a grapefruit. some people don't like it, but i tend to favor it, as well as Pomelo Tang. 

"Philippine Brand Dried Mangoes - Naturally Delicious!"... so true.  

so impossible.

[mood: discouraged]

how could anyone not love autumn, after seeing this? 

if i'm going to lose you, i'll lose you now for good

looking back on this day, that i was sure would turn out to be a disaster, it's evident that God had the whole thing planned out. it worked out so that i had a free 2nd block, and i was able to accomplish alot during that free time. and things worked out well. but i was still drained in almost every aspect throughout the entire day. after i got to Calvary from GPC, i slept for about 45 minutes in the high school hallway, which may have helped a little bit. after youth, i had worship practice till about ten. and my dad brought me hot chocolate when he came to pick me up, so i drank it on the way home.

besides the school happenings, i've been contemplating other areas of my life lately, and today was a little bit discouraging, but maybe tomorrow things will work themselves out.

i've been taking a few steps in the forward direction over the past few days concerning life after high school. for the moment, i am thinking something along a major on journalism and a minor in music. although those plans aren't concrete, i feel a strong pull to both of those areas. again, prayers are much appreciated. and i do have a couple of years, but i figure that the sooner i decide things like this, the better.

tomorrow i'm going to give school my best shot, go to the Y, come home and sleep, assuming that i'm still alive by that point of the day. haha, just kidding. sort of.

right now I'm reading through the book of Matthew. i've always told myself that I know the story of Jesus, because i've "heard it so many times". but i've never really taken the time to read it by myself, and actually let it sink in.


recommended song of the day: lose you - pete yorn

[listening to: in other words - ben kweller]
[mood: drained...]

daily forecast

i'm going to go out on a limb and predict the outcome of the day, before it has even begun. with no intentions of being cynical, i truly believe that today could turn out to be one of the worst days of my month. or you could even include the last couple months. it doesn't matter. the point is, i'm tired. on a normal day, when i'm tired, i can simply come home from school and sleep the fatigue away and regain some of the precious hours of sleep that i lost the night before. however, today i don't have such a privilege. immediately following school, i'll be going to the GPC youth group (because i play guitar for it). after which, i'll be headed to the calvary chapel youth group - which is my only choice, because i can't go home. after that, i have worship practice, which could end at 10. leaving me exhausted when i get home, in no mood to do homework. that would be fine with me, if i didn't have homework. and the rule on wednesdays usually makes it so that you don't have homework. but i have this sickening feeling in the bottom of my stomach that is making me believe more and more that i'll have an unnecessary load of homework tonight. plus, i have a history test tomorrow that i have to study for. studying for a Jim Fyock history test involves so much more involvement than any other studying for any other test i've ever taken in my life. it requires so much time and effort, you feel as if you've just run a marathon, or something nearly as grueling.

i guess what i'm trying to get across is, if you have a spare moment today, say a little prayer for me. i'm sure i'll need it.

and now i'm off.

the end of a mediocre day

i'd be lying if i said that today was good - but today wasn't bad either. it just leaves me feeling like something was left to be done. but that feeling might be because i just left my dad's cell phone at the law firm. or maybe that's just part of it. either way, today was just... in the middle.

all of my classes seemed to take twice as long as they usually do. i had an incredibly difficult time staying awake in history. when the bell rang, i was wide awake. i really don't know why Jim's voice does such things to me, but i'm thinking i should record several hours of his speaking onto a tape and try listening to it while going to sleep. i'm sure it would knock me right out. on second thought, his voice playing in my subconscious all night may do awful things to my dreams.

i embarrassed myself in front of the entire biology class today by willingly being the guinea pig in one of Mr. Jones's demonstrations. i'll think twice next time. to make a long story short, it involved me sitting indian style in a small swivel chair, cocking my head entirely to the side, and closing my eyes, while they spun me around. when i opened my eyes, i was meant to feel dizzy and disoriented, and promptly fall to the floor. in my case, i fell to the floor without even opening my eyes. i don't know if anyone other than amy (the other person to try it) understands the amount of vulnerability you feel while being spun. it's the most peculiar thing. it's hard to think, and to keep your head tilted to the side, and you feel like you're being spun the reverse direction of which you're really spinning. needless to say, i can't say that i felt too smooth after doing that.

after school, i stood outside with some people for awhile. kicked the soccer around, then practiced with jonathan, ashby, and fle, for midnight madness. it went alright. i'm sure it will come together though. give it a weekend.

i'm playing with tim's band tomorrow at fusion (at the coffee and dessert company). which means that i practiced tonight with them. i'm playing bass - and i never really play bass, so i'm considerably rusty. i'm lucky that they are still willing to have me play. but i think it'll turn out okay. the only reason that i'm really sort of uneasy about it, is that it's a 'college-kid' gathering. and i'm not a college-kid. i've been in such situations numerous times before, and you'd think i'd know how to handle them. however, i don't.


hum...


"...and she said that i was the brightest little firefly in her jar"
[listening to: brightest - copeland]
[mood: passive]

certainly a small apple! 

with much deliberation

i have FINALLY gotten links up over on the sidebar. hurrah.

down towards the healing

i'm doing considerably better than i was a couple of days ago. i was going through a "phase". i'm glad that i'm over it, because it wasn't very..fun. haha. i felt really negative. anyways, all is well.

last night was an absolute...fiasco. after going to the Y and running back to GCS, i went with ashby to stephen's house and showered and such. ashby was going to go to erin's with fle, erin, katie, katie, and caroline. ghandi and stephen were going to the Greenwood High game. i was meant to be doing something with mary beth... we hadn't decided what, at that point. mr. moore was taking us all to the hinrichs for some reason. i guess that was the "meeting point" for everyone. i told marybeth i'd call her once i got there, hoping i would have figured something about by then. i didn't. it ended up that no one went to the game. ghandi went to his dad's house. the same people went to erin's. and stephen and i went to mary beth's. we had a pretty good time. we talked for awhile, watched something on her video camera, and played a game called Mad Gab. I'd never played it up until last night, and it was actually quite fun. Mary Beth won. we also discovered that her phone doesnt work right unless you're sitting in the sun room. haha.

the night after i left her house was pretty fun, but i don't feel like writing it all out. if you want to know, ask me. haha. maybe i'll feel like writing it out by then.

oh yeah - something really funny happened while we were at the hinrich's. ashby, fle, caroline, katie, and erin were all up in the guest room, and we were trying to do the little thing that Mr. Jones showed us in Biology with the chair thing. Caroline started spinning Katie first in it, and it didn't really work. then Caroline got in the chair and Katie spun her realllly fast, and the chair tipped over and caroline fell partly on a desk, partly under the desk, partly on me, and partly on the floor. hahaha. it was so funny. at first i thought she hit her head on the edge of the table, and she might have, but she was laughing too hard to feel the pain.

fun times.

"so fall in love while you can still hold your head up high"
[listening to: pretend you're alive - lovedrug]
[mood: greaat]

born to radiate

i need to go to study. i've neglected it all night, so now i'll try to make up for lost time.

but tomorrow is friday, and that's good. i expect things to happen.

more later.

when they really get to know you, they will run

i've been doing alot of thinking lately. about my life, namely. i've given alot of thought to who i am, where i'm going, and what i've done up to this point. now i realize, that these are rather generalized and common things to think about, but i can assure you that at some point you'll realize the importance of such things, if you haven't already.

i don't think that i'm in the place i should be with God right now. actually, to be completely honest, i know that i'm not. and i think that this lack of His presence in my life is having alot to do with the things going on in my life. i don't believe that God is punishing me, however, for not being close with Him. I don't think that's the way that He works. But I do think that He's heartbroken, having His own creation not pay nearly enough attention to Him - or listen for His voice in all moments of the day. I hope that from this realization, I can strengthen my relationship with God, and sort some things out in my life. prayers would be appreciated.


in other news, my jacket came in today. and despite it being XL, it fits fine. it's peculiar though, because it really fits like a medium on me. and i'm quite confident that i'm not nearly large enough a person to fit so snugly in an XL jacket. but hey, maybe i just haven't looked in the mirror lately. maybe i'm a grotesquely huge behemoth of a boy, being tricked into thinking otherwise. who knows. but honestly, wouldn't that be an awful thing to wake up to? nevermind, dumb topic.

i practiced for MM04 (hahahaha) with jonathan and ashby today. i think it might be coming together, but we'll see. properly termed, it's Midnight Madness, but as a joke the three of us, among ourselves, refer to it as MM04. it becomes less and less of a joke each time we do it. haha.

i might have to take geometry next semester. i don't want to. but maybe it'll be good. er... we'll see.

personally, i can't wait for this semester to be over. i'm tired of it. to be more specific, i'm tired of Western Civilization II.

christmas couldn't come too soon.


"hold on to me darling I've got nowhere else to go"
[listening to: ghost train - counting crows]
[mood - contemplative]

the haircut strikes again

you may be wondering, "how could he possibly need to cut his hair again?"

well, i've been wondering the same thing. the truth is, i didn't need to cut it. the faculty at GCS needed me too, along with several other boys. now, i could understand their reasoning if we wore it messily and didn't wash. but our hair was neat and kept well. so i really didn't understand. anyways, what is done is done, and i no longer have hair over my ears or remotely close to being over my eyes.

happy, GCS?

just kidding, i'm not that upset about it. it's fun to overplay things like this, though. thanks to Lynn Hall, my hair didn't turn out to be a complete disaster, like it could have been if i went to the place by Wal-Mart. They would have destroyed it.

here are my before and after pictures...


a portrait of when the times were good.


the red-eye abounds, along with the...shortness. oh so short!

- steven

"what were you hoping for?"
[listening to: 23 - jimmy eat world]
[mood: short haired]

track jacket!

thanks to ebay, this red jacket is now mine. and will soon be in my hands. if it doesnt fit, i'll wear it anyway.

new thing

since it's the thing to do, i've started to use the haloscan comment system thing. hopefully it works a little smoother and is a little more convenient. thanks to anna who helped me.

wee.

by the way - what is the trackback thing? do i need it?

Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.

thank you

if i had a gun in my hand, i'd shoot my computer.

i hate writing long blogs, only to have the computer erase them.

it's so cold here

last night i went to the greenwood high game with several people. and it. was. cold. it was probably the coldest weather i've been in in 4 years. i made the mistake of wearing shorts, thinking that the hoodie i was wearing would protect me from getting chilly. nope. anyways. we got hot chocolate on the way home, which helped.

yesterday, me, stephen, ashby, felipe, and ghandi played golf at par 3. chad and mr. wiles met us there and played. it was quite fun, although i've come to the conclusion that i suck at golf.

today was the state cross-country meet. good luck to you all.

i have to cut my hair this weekend. again. it's frustrating.

i nearly fell from the moore's roof this morning.

by the way, for those who didn't know, we lost to beaufort on wednesday. they won state on friday. boo. we'll get them next time. our season is over though. who knows what i'll do with my time now. and now it's the end of the first nine weeks. we had yesterday (friday) off, and we also have monday off. today i need to clean my room (which i've finished) clean my bathroom, and wash the car. then i'm off to andy's.

my vision is shaking. it's really weird. i can't see straight. i think i'll lay down for a moment.


"tonight i'm tangled in a blanket of clouds"
[listening to: walking after you - foo fighters]
[mood: fine]

larry lawson is okay by me

today was fine. my morning was slow, but picked up. especially during spanish. we finished our pinata, and it, or HE looks splendid. he was original going to be one of my little "monster" drawings, only...three dimensional. if you don't know what the drawing looks like, don't worry about it, if you hang out with me enough, you'll eventually be educated. anyways, he had a rough start, and was criticized by the rest of the class, but i believe we were victorious in the end. he became a wizard of some sort, with a big black hat with stars all over it. maybe i'll get a picture. but he's smashing.

tomorrow i was meant to go to the dentist, but seeing as we'll be playing beaufort, i had to cancel. luckily, my mom scheduled the appointment for this afternoon.[/sarcasm] i went, and waited in the..waiting room...for like 40 minutes until they called my name. it may have been less time than that, but i was alone. and it felt like a long time. he filled one tooth in the back, and another because it had a 'deep groove' or something. i was surprised, because it really wasn't a painful ordeal, although the entire left side of my face feels like it was hit by a sack of bricks. in fact, i almost started laughing while they were working on my mouth. so many things were entertaining me, but i had to pinch myself to keep from losing it. i was afraid that if i laughed, all of the utensils that they were using would fly from my mouth, or fall into my mouth, or something equally terrible. and it would be really awkward as well, because i really had no reason to laugh. hmm. i guess i'm just weird. i laugh at all the wrong times.

and by the way, i meant to post those two last entries twice. actually, i didn't. but i just thought i'd let you all know that i knew it was like that. and i'm not going to fix it.

larry lawson is my dentist by the way.

i saw mary beth and that whole "tennis squad" at the gas station filling up, while i was getting gas as well. today was their last tennis match, and they're playing emerald, who i've heard is good. good luck to you all, although you've probably finished playing by now. anyways, hope it went well..

my mouth feels like a big banana. it's still quite numb, and i'll wait till it has recovered before i try to eat anything.



PSATs tomorrow.

and beaufort.

*sigh*.

"i'm almost drowning in her sea"
[listening to: sullivan street - counting crows]
[mood: fine]

you don't know the truth

today was a good one, somehow. last night, justin stayed over. we recorded some acoustic demo stuff, and watched a movie. my sister had some friends over, so they were watching too. i went to bed in the middle of the first movie, "envy", seeing as i had school this morning. they proceeded to watch another. i ended up going to bed at about 12:30, setting my alarm clock for 6:05. it went off at 6:05, and somehow i ignored it until 6:45, which is amazing, because i usually wake up pretty easily. but i managed to get showered, eat, and everything in time to leave for school at a decent time.

at lunch time, i had the pleasure of going with justin, anna, and cilla to zaxby's. today was anna's 19th birthday, by the way. so everyone tell her that you love her. i sure do. it's hard to believe that she's gotten so old. wow. anyways, zaxby's was good, though mr. fyock was sort of on my case when he came back, but i think it was in good nature. anyways, at 1:30, after fyock's class, varsity boys were dismissed to go to our game against Trinity Collegient. Or Coligient. Not sure the proper way to spell that. Anyways, we got there, played, and won 2-0. hurray. So now we're going to be playing on Wednesday against Beaufort in Charleston.

That's the game that we REALLY need to win. Championships will be on friday.

Anyways, I think I'm going to call it a night pretty soon here. I'm still deciding whether or not I want to keep this template. Keep posting suggestions, they were much appreciated. but if you post anonymously, tell your name. please.

everyone post on the sunny blunder boards.

"the plans i made still have you in them"
[listening to: the background - third eye blind]
[mood: good]

you don't know the truth

today was a good one, somehow. last night, justin stayed over. we recorded some acoustic demo stuff, and watched a movie. my sister had some friends over, so they were watching too. i went to bed in the middle of the first movie, "envy", seeing as i had school this morning. they proceeded to watch another. i ended up going to bed at about 12:30, setting my alarm clock for 6:05. it went off at 6:05, and somehow i ignored it until 6:45, which is amazing, because i usually wake up pretty easily. but i managed to get showered, eat, and everything in time to leave for school at a decent time.

at lunch time, i had the pleasure of going with justin, anna, and cilla to zaxby's. today was anna's 19th birthday, by the way. so everyone tell her that you love her. i sure do. it's hard to believe that she's gotten so old. wow. anyways, zaxby's was good, though mr. fyock was sort of on my case when he came back, but i think it was in good nature. anyways, at 1:30, after fyock's class, varsity boys were dismissed to go to our game against Trinity Collegient. Or Coligient. Not sure the proper way to spell that. Anyways, we got there, played, and won 2-0. hurray. So now we're going to be playing on Wednesday against Beaufort in Charleston.

That's the game that we REALLY need to win. Championships will be on friday.

Anyways, I think I'm going to call it a night pretty soon here. I'm still deciding whether or not I want to keep this template. Keep posting suggestions, they were much appreciated. but if you post anonymously, tell your name. please.

everyone post on the sunny blunder boards.

"the plans i made still have you in them"
[listening to: the background - third eye blind]
[mood: good]

better?

new template. yes or no?

crashing through the parlor doors

i woke up this morning at about 11:30 with my sister telling me that i had to go to a pumpkin patch. i was thoroughly confused, but got up anyways, ate, and drove out there. it turned out to be interesting. sort of. by the way, cilla leigh (anna's friend from the philippines whom she graduated with) flew in from washington last night. so she's here. and she went to the pumpkin patch too. so that made things more fun, since we haven't seen her in several months. afterwards, we went home.

i walked aimlessly around the house for awhile, until andy IMed me. and he wanted to do something. as did i. justin was in columbia for the day, and chances of doing something with him were slim to none. so i showered and such, and andy picked me up. we drove first to tim/troy/ryan/matt's house, and stayed there for about half an hour, being entertained by the Sims 2. it looked like a marvelous game. after that, we went to andy's and played guitar for a bit, then ate dinner at zaxby's. i was completely full, and was tempted to sleep in the booth in which we were eating. we stayed there for awhile and talked. thennn we went to wal-mart to buy blank cassette tapes for the 4-track back at andy's, which we hooked up and recorded some things on. we then played ping pong, and proceeded to do several other things. by the time 11 o'clock rolled around, i was home.

did anyone know that Iron and Wine covered The Postal Service's song "Such Great Heights"? i found this out today, and it is quite beautiful. i'd like for everyone to download it, and you'll see what i mean.

let me know if you end up liking it...

"what was your first reaction?"
[listening to: company calls epilogue - death cab for cutie]
[mood: sleepy]

remember to breathe

how was i meant to react?

in retrospect, should there have been a reaction at all?

what an awful turn of events.

today i had planned to go to school. go to soccer practice. go home with tim, shower, then go with mary beth, alison, stephen, tim b., caroline, and tim stumbo to anderson to watch napoleon dynamite. tim had been very weird about going the entire time, which i didn't understand, i guess because he was driving. who knows. but anyways, once we got to tim's after soccer practice, his mom basically made it clear that he couldn't go. and bleh. so i just assumed i'd call everyone and tell them that we could just do something else, in town. about that time, i hear from stephen that the girls aren't going. so we just decided to go do something ourselves. we went to the emerald high football game (after picking up jonathan shurden from his house). there wasn't room in the car, so he rode in the trunk, which became humorous. the game was awful though. i won't even talk about it. after that, we went back to shurden's and ordered pizza while watching a soccer dvd, which was entertaining. then we played FIFA 2004 on his game cube. and that was fun. but now i'm home, and i'm a little bit disappointed that i didn't get to see napoleon dynamite, because my heart has been set on it for so long. haha. i guess that's just the way it goes. hopefully it won't be too long until it comes out on video...

today was most probably our last soccer practice of the season. next week is are playoffs. we have a game monday, against Trinity Collegient.if we win that, we go on to play Beaufort in Charleston, which would most likely mean we'd miss PSAT's. wee. Then friday would be the championship game.

Anyhow, i'm tired. bed time.

the magical coke machine

today before practice, ashby, jonathan, gandhi, and i decided we wanted a drink before going to practice. we had time to spare, so we decided to swing by wal-mart. we went in, and everyone got their drinks, and i couldn't decide what to get (we were buying from machines..). i finally decided on a 45 cent can of Dr. Pepper. I insterted my money, and pressed the button. Out came my Dr. Pepper. I retrieved it. Out popped another Dr. Pepper. I looked on in awe, as did everyone else. It was such a beautiful thing. So i grabbed that one too. I walked away and Gandhi approached the machine, and it spewed out yet ANOTHER Dr. Pepper. What a lucky day. From now on, I will only use that drink machine. Surely if it happens once, it'll happen again.

I ran better today than i have in awhile. It seemed that my energy was boundless during practice. At least until the last 5 minutes.

We have a home game tomorrow against Pleasant Grove. Next week are State Championships.

I'm utterly disappointed. I was meant to be going to see Napoleon Dynamite with some people this friday, but I just found out that it's not playing anymore. How upsetting. I'm not sure what I'll do now. maybe there is another movie worth watching. we'll see.

time for sleep. i skipped algebra homework so that i could hit the sack, and look at me, i'm blogging.... sheesh.

goodnight, all.

streetlights shine through the shades
casting lines on the floor
and lines on his face
{listening to: fred jones, part 2 - ben folds}
{mood: sleepy, but stress-free}

asdfghjkl;'

i should be sleeping, but i'm awake. writing outlines. for jim. gahhhhh.

in five years, none of this will matter. so why do it? i'm not sure. i'll have an answer tomorrow, after it's too late.

i'm going to fail the map test tomorrow.

aiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. dangit.

i've been here before, but only by myself

last night, we played shannon forest at 7 o'clock PM, and tied them 2-2. during the first half, i was nailed in the face with the ball, and proceeded to get a migraine, and was unable to play for the rest of the night. on the trip home, i started feeling better, and i felt fine up until this morning on our way to st. joseph's. and the headache came back and i felt pretty bad throughout the game. so i didn't play.

BUT.

we did great. we played so well. i'm...proud of us. our goals for the game (that we decided upon before the game) were to mark up, communicate, and not let them score, at least the first half. WELL. they didn't score the first half. and that was awesome. even better, we scored one during the first half. so we had the lead for quite some time, which is a first in GCS guys soccer history, i believe. and it was a first for us to score on their field. so that's wonderful. gandhi made the shot, and it was stupendous. they scored during the second half, and we had to go into overtime, and they ended up beating us 2-1, but it was a close game, and i think we were all content with how we played.

i'm pretty tired, but you may notice that i added some things. on the right, you can get to the pages of people i know, and other sites...and such. so..hopefully that'll be of some use. thanks to audrey who helped me. heh. ok. well, i'm going to bed. i have to play drums for church tomorrow. my arms hurt. bleh.

merry christmas to all, and to all a goodnight.

accomplished plenty

well. i had a good bit of work to do tonight, and now it's all behind me. i am such a happy boy. what did i have to do, you may ask. well, i'll tell you.

• a 4 page spanish paper. it was the epitome of discomfort.
• a current event paper for spanish on panama
• a current event paper for biology on fish...or something.
• a paper on persecuted christians from a country of my choice for western civilization II
• a paper on william carey's life for western civilization II

i've been working since 6:30. it is now nearly 10. a good 3 and a half hours of solid work. now that's what i call a good student. haha. just kidding. but not really.

umm, well, we have a soccer game tomorrow. and i really don't feel like playing. why? my ankle hurts. and this weird spot on my back hurts. and i was sick a couple of days ago, and i feel it coming back. but i guess i'll have to play. it's an away game - shannon forest in greenville. some of our players are only playing for 15-20 minutes, because we have a game against St. Joseph's on saturday, and they don't need to get worn out...or something. i doubt that i'll be one of the ones that only have to play 15 minutes, because...just take my word for it. haha. and tomorrow's game is rather late. it starts at 7. but we leave school at 2:40 because middle school has a game, and we all ride on the same bus. so i guess we'll go eat or something before our game. we'll see.

we'll be getting back late tomorrow night, so i think i'll be spending the night at stephen's house, because saturday morning we leave for st. joseph's at 12. and that's going to be such an intense game. i have a bad feeling about it. but that's all i'll say.

um. ok.

[listening to: 'you know how i do' - taking back sunday]

[mood: accomplished&a tad sleepy]

praying for health

i plan to go to school tomorrow. i'm not quite sure what my status will be in the morning, however. it would be great if i felt better.

tomorrow is the 'this bright pilgrimage' thing at calvary. in case you didn't know, i'm playing with a group of people from church in a little..group. nothing too serious, i don't think. but it's fun to get together. we play worship songs arranged for a more acousticey folk sound. somewhat. sarah dean and kelly mccravy are playing cellos/violin, george schwab is playing piano, tim keeler, myself, dillon robertson, and john michael cooper are playing guitars (yes, alot). we're playing at 7 at calvary chapel. come out, if you'd like.

i almost bidded on a handful of things on ebay tonight, but decided that i need to save money for anything larger that i may need later in the year. or at least until i get that job. which will hopefully be in october. which is like...now. almost.

well. here's to the night.

and health.

and wealth.

and happiness.



a final thought: if we all pitched in, i think we could bring the sunnyblunder boards back to life. it's worth a shot, i think. who's in?

my eyes hurt

i'm home from school today, sick. last night i set my alarm clock hoping that i'd feel like a new person when i awoke. my hoping was in vain. i felt the same, if not worse. i don't particularly enjoy staying home from school. of course, you get to take it easy, get extra sleep, read, and not do school. but i think i'd rather be around people, interacting. anyhow, that's that. i feel awful.

i'm listening to counting crows, and memories of the philippines are flooding back into my mind. it's amazing the things that music can do to you.


[listening to: counting crows - 'sullivan street' - august and everything after]
[mood: ill&contemplative]

pictures!

caleb..


my beautiful bedsheets.




november, the emo-hippo


my messy closet.


my messy room.


some friends.



well, i hope everyone has enjoyed this picture-filled post. it will be a rare thing when it happens, but every now and then i am inspired to do so. again, if they are too large, i apologize.

wee.

a good night

i had a good time at the concert tonight. i enjoyed it much more than i expected. andrew peterson opened for caedmon's call, and he was excellent. i don't remember hearing a song that i didn't like. and caedmon's call were good too. they have 7 people in their band, and are all quite talented people.

we went to eat afterwards. i had an interesting meal sitting with haley, rachel, sarah, and amber (that was her name, correct?). we had a enormous gathering of people in the parking lot for hackey sack after we ate. and we were all awful. but sarah's hackey sack is beautiful, and made up for our lack of hackeysackingness.

*end*

almost rested

i awoke this morning at 6:40, and forgot that it was saturday. i went to my computer, and sat in a confused stupor for at least 20 seconds, wondering why i hadn't set my alarm, and how i'd be ready to leave in 15 or so minutes. that's when it dawned on me that it was saturday, and that i could go back to bed. what an amazing feeling it was. i've always wanted to wake up early thinking i had to go to school, and not have to stay awake, but crawl back under the covers and drift away in the cold darkness of the room. and that's just what i did. why did i wake up at such an awful hour? i'm not sure. but after i wake up at a certain time consistently for awhile, i automatically get up that early. it's peculiar. but i'm glad that i did, because it felt good to go back to sleep.

i slept until 10 or so, which is when my dad woke me up to cut the grass. and i did so, but only the back yard, seeing as that's the only part that needed cutting. i'm going to try to get my hands on a firewire card, so that i can use my ipod on this computer. which would be convenient. i got a program yesterday that enables me to move the music from my ipod to my computer...instead of getting all of the files from the other computer. and it would be nice if it worked.

in about 15 minutes, i'm taking a shower, then leaving for gcs..or calvary chapel, whatever you want to refer to it as, to practice with tim keeler, sarah dean, kelly mccravy, and that group of people for the wednesday night thing. after that, we're supposed to be going to some concert, caedmon's call, i think? i haven't really listened to much of them, but i guess they're good? we'll see.

yesterday at the soccer game, justin (he was there) asked me if i wanted to stay out at the lake with him tonight, and i'd like to. so i might do that. it all depends on what my parents say though. so we'll see. hopefully this will be a laid back saturday. i haven't had one in quite some time, and so far it's going beautifully.


[listening to: sleeping at last - "say"]
[mood: relaxed]

the weekend comes to the rescue.

if i had another day of school to suffer through, i do believe i'd go into a coma. the beginning of this week was wretched, and i'm pleased to say that it slowly improved up until the peak of the week (that rhymed), friday, today.

today was MS/HS Field Day at my school. i originally thought that it would be a disasterous event, but it turned out much better than expected. i participated in 4 events, and i plan on describing a few, if not all, in the following paragraph(s).

first event = the wheelbarrow race. i just completely butchered the spelling of that word, but i'm too tired to find out how to really spell it. or maybe i spelled it right, but i'm so tired that it looks wrong. either way, i'm tired. RIGHT, so, i was originally paired up with fle, but i switched to be brandon stanford's partner, and fle was shurden's partner, because they are both smaller than either of us..so..it would be easier. brandon and i went last. and when it was our turn to go, we rocketed from the starting line to the cone, and flew around it and made our return to the line. that's when i realized that brandon's legs were myseriously slippery and hard to hold on to. this was about the time that brandon decided that we were going too fast, and wanted to let his hands fall limply to the ground and faceplant himself into the grass. and then i let go of his legs, due to the amount of difficulty i was having in holding onto his legs while trying to push his face across the ground, seeing as he had stopped "wheelbarrowing". once i let go, my momentum enabled me to continue moving forward, and over brandon, doing a twist in the air before making contact with the ground. how exhilerating that was, but we obviously did not win.

second event = volleyball i'll make this quick and just say that we beat the freshmen, juniors, and seniors, and took first. we worked it.

third event = tug of war er. we killed the freshmen in the first round...then went against the seniors and lost bitterly, but recieved 2nd place. humiliatingly, the juniors lost to the freshmen (!), and recieved fourth.

fourth event = egg toss this was a very interesting event, to say the least. it seemed absolutely ridiculous when they were explaining to us what we were meant to do, but it turned out slightly more humane than expected. each class were to make a vertical line down the field, each person in about 10 foot gaps between the next person. the first person in line took hold of his/her egg, and launched it backwards to the next person. the next person would frantically dance in circles trying to catch the egg without it breaking it, or dropping it. the catch: everyone throwing the eggs would for some reason throw them 50 feet into the air, hoping that it might make it easier for the person catching the egg. i was amazed at the lack of reasoning. what was funny however, is that some of the eggs were dropped at least 100 times without breaking. i was close to accusing the other groups of hard-boiling them, but by that time, the suspect egg had broken in some fashion or another. after the eggs had been sucessfully passed down the line of 15 people without dropping, we were meant to go all the way back. well, our group made it to the end, and were on the way back when it was my turn to catch. alison was throwing to me, by the way, and i noticed that she looked at the egg questioningly for a moment before throwing it. i thought nothing of it, and prepared myself to catch an egg from 50 feet in the air without breaking it. to make a long story short, it broke. and she knew it was cracked when she through it. and i ended up with egg all over my hands, which was quite an unpleasant ordeal, so i wiped my hands on tyler's shirt, and he was happy to be a help.

after the whole field day thing, us varsity guys left for our game in greenville against Pleasant Grove, we beat them 5-1, and i played better than usual, so hurray.

we ate at arby's on the way home, and had a heck of a time. and now i'm here, with my newly installed windows xp, and new chip with more RAM. this makes me chuckle with delight. and i'm EXTREMELY tired, so i believe i'll be going.


[listening to: oasis - stop crying your heart out]
[mood: dazed]

a taste of our own medicine

we were brutally defeated by st. joseph's today. and now we know how it feels to lose. it's not pleasant, especially in this case, because in terms of skill level, we were almost even with this team, i believe. and if we had stuck with it throughout the entire game, and played more intensely, we may have done better. oh well. next time. we do get to play them again, and our plans are to beat them then.

oh boy. it's 10:25. i'm getting to bed late tonight. i have an awful taste in my mouth, and i don't know why. and i also don't know why mr. harrell played me at right half today. because i didn't know what i was doing.

i hope the rest of this week soars. i could use it.

this is going to be a week

things that will be happening of importance this week.

1. somehow finishing my homework tomorrow before 3rd block.
2. game against st. joseph's on tuesday.
3. fyock test tuesday.
4. *insert event here*
5. *insert event here*

more to come!

whoops.

hmm. the pictures are incredibly large, and i apologize, but seeing as i really don't know how to adjust the size, i'll keep them like that. until i find out how to fix it, of course.

okay.

observations

i've noticed 2 things after looking through some pictures taken in the philippines.

1) I'm not photogenic WHATSOEVER.
2) I am prone to having severe red-eye.

- me and nathan at grad.


- me and steven and micah at grad.


zach, jonathan, and one of the twins at my house.


- a group of people at my house.


wee.

hahahaha

YES SIR.

my father is a genius, and has healed the network. and i am ever in debted to him.

on a darker note - i think the world is coming to an end. the wind is blowing fiercely outside, and i'm afraid a tree is going to fall on the house. it's not raining, but i'm sure it's on its way.

luxurious.

game against newberry

today we played newberry in a rousing game of soccer. this was our second time playing them. and we beat them again, one point higher than we did last time. 9-0. Our team played awful first half, and slowly improved during second. Personally, I think I played considerably better than I have in the past, as far as handling the ball. I need to learn how to slide tackle, however, because it could have come in handy today.

and i mean really come in handy.

[listening to: nothing]
[situation: avoiding math homework]
[things distracting me: blogging, working on the network, my guitar, and my soccer ball]

nothing is fitting

tonight represents something significant. i am falling in love with deathcab for cutie all over again. and what a wonderful thing it is.

at a loss for words

obviously, if i were really at a loss for words, i wouldn't attempt to post anything. the truth is, i have plenty of things to say. i just wish that i didn't, because it would make things easier.

i think that i'm in one of those situations where the only thing you can do is sit back and watch God work. and this is a place i have been in so many instances before. i've come down to my last couple years of highschool, after which i will further pursue less generalized education in college. as many of you know, my family has been in the Philippines as missionaries for the past 8 years, only returning on occasion for the summer, and my 6th grade year for a year. now i am a sophomore, and we are back again. my parents have come to the conclusion that they have fulfilled the vision that God instilled in them before going to the Philippines. They also feel that now is a time that they need to be here in the United States, for my grandparents, since they may need assistance in coming days.

What this means: My family will not be returning to the Philippines. My parents may at times return for part time ministry, but our family as a whole will no longer reside there.

What this means for me: I don't know. I've known about this news for quite some time, but haven't taken the time to think it through until recent days. I've realized that time isn't going to slow down and wait for me to make decisions about my future. And that thought is overwhelming. I could just stay here, and accept the fact that my time in the Philippines is over. Except for the fact that my best friends in the world are on the other side of the world. It's a selfish thought, but I crave the friendship that I have with them. Don't get me wrong, some of my best friends are here in South Carolina as well. That's why I'm in such a difficult position. I could also try to return to Faith my senior year to graduate with my friends, but that leaves my family, sunnyblunder, and friends, back here.

Conclusion: I was talking to my Dad tonight about it, and he recommended that I wait. If I wait for God's timing, He'll reveal the right thing to do. Until then, I must make the most of what I have, where I am... which is possibly one of the hardest things I've ever had to done, in this situation. But God has provided in the past, and I have not the slightest doubt that He won't provide again.

er.

yeah. blue.

wonder

i'm really not sure why i titled this post "wonder". but i did. there might even be a reason, but i don't know what it is. i guess we'll see.

today my household welcomed a new member of the family - cable internet. after being so plagued by the strains of dialup, we've finally reaped the fruits of our labors. it is so incredibly fast and wonderful and non-confrontational. haha. yes indeed. soon, i'll have it in my room, thanks to wireless networking. at the moment, i'm trying to get my hands on the Windows 98 Second Edition disc. If anyone has a copy, I'd be forever in your debt. Or...maybe not forever. More like 2 or 3 weeks. I'll make it worth your while though. Hmm. I'll let you interpret that however you wish.

i felt awful this morning. i didn't want to go to school at all. of course, no one ever really wants to go to school, but this morning was just off. i felt sick. and i was tired. better worded: i felt sick and tired. hahah. but by 3rd block, i was doing better.

soccer practice was unbelievably unproductive. we scrimmaged the whole time, and coach watched the middle school game. wee. jimmy stepped on my foot, and now i think something's broken. of course it probably won't be, but it hurts like...something...bad. and believe me, anything involving the bottom of cleats and a part of your body usually results in pain.

tomorrow is See You at the Pole, or as I like to call it SYATP. In fact, I believe I'm the only person that calls it that. Especially seeing as I made up the acronym 25 seconds ago. But hey, maybe there's another deep thinker like me out there who came up with the same thing. If so...er...good job, buddy.

riiiight. so, this SYATP thing. It's basically where the whole school, or high school, gathers around the flagpole early in the morning, and prays. And there's a worship service thing too. So i'm playing bass. This means I must be at GCS at 7:15. Entirely too early, if you ask me. But I don't think anyone did..

I got my progress report today. My average is 4.2. Which is good, I'm thinking. I have all A's, except a B in Biology, which I think I mentioned earlier. And Biology is a class that I'm quite sure can be brought up. We'll see, I guess.

anyhow. i have some things to do.

[listening to: lovedrug - pretend you're alive]
[mood: hanging in there]
[person of the day: brandon stanford]

comments

just so you know, i THINK anyone can comment now, not just registered Blogger.com members. So um, comment. It should work. If not... just let me know.

what a game

today we had a soccer game vs. a team out of Columbia called Glenforest. The name sounds as if they'd be good. Maybe it's just me, but some names give the impression that the team is good, and Glenforest is one of them. I don't know about GCS Hawks. Maybe that's just because I'm on the team. Anyways, the game was meant to start at 4. And it didn't. We were all ready, but the team didn't show up. Then we found out that they thought it started at 5... so.. that happened.

The entire day, it looked as if it were about to start pouring rain, but never really did until the second half of the game. Right, so the game. It was out of control. We won, and, er, the score was 13-0. I felt a bit bad, but, a few of the guys on the other team were playing...dirtily, so that pretty much did it with any sympathy that i may have began to feel towards them. I played okay. I think I'm starting to get better... slightly more comfortable with the ball, at least. I need to remember to take my time. Anyways, I started, and played for the first 20 minutes or so of the first half. Then I started the second half, and went out about 15 minutes into that half. I was satisfied.

Andy lent a cd to me by a band called Lovedrug. I like it alot, though I'm really not sure how to classify the music. If anyone is interested, try downloading "down towards the healing" or "pretend you're alive", the latter being one of my personal favorites.

GCS, my school, has a clever little system worked out so I can check my grades and such online. It's incredibly convenient. I just checked them, and I'm not doing too shabbily. I have an A- in History, an A in Algebra, a B in Biology (many many reasons for that), and I believe an A in Spanish, but it didn't have the cumulative grade. doubt that i spelt that correctly.

I don't know if I ever posted this or not, but my Biology teacher, Mrs. McGee, has resigned. When I heard this news, I was overjoyed. I mean, I know it's awful, but I believe she was happier leaving as well. And this way, I believe I can pull my grade up to an A, which would be excellent. Right now, good ol' Mr. Wiles is subbing. And he, my friends, is the man.

If anyone was wondering, my font is large for a reason. For some reason, this computer doesn't show the font editing options for when I post, so...i don't really get to choose. Hopefully this problem will be taken care of soon, for the sake of your eyes, and the aesthetics of the page.

that's all for now. enjoy the day.

aching teeth

i went to the dentist today, and hated every minute of it.

there really is nothing pleasant about it. the dental hygenist asked me after polishing my teeth and all if they felt cleaner. i lied and said yes, when they really felt the same. i'm sure it made her day. dentists also create very awkward situations (sorry audrey, there was no other word i could use and it get the point across). i mean, you're laying there with your mouth open, and somebody leaning over you poking little metal rods down your throat. what if you sneeze? seriously, that would be an absolute disaster. not only would you give the dentist a heart attack, he'd probably drop the tools into your mouth. and that would be an awfully interesting scene.

and i really hate opening my eyes whenever they are....operating (for lack of a better word). i did it today while the lady was cleaning my teeth. and we just sorta looked at each other for a second. then i closed my eyes again, because i knew she felt uncomfortable with me keeping my eyes open. as did i.

i also was told some discouraging news. i have to go back in to have at least one cavity filled. there may be another. that's what i get for not flossing. shame. on an even more discouraging note, i may get braces. and that wouldn't be a pretty sight.


i'm tired. time to sleep.

tired and uninspired

a long day is coming to an end. i hope to be in bed in the next hour or so. i'm still sick. it's the most frustrating illness ever, because there is so much work to be done, though, i can't seem to be efficient because of my discomfort. i'll be surprised if i make it through tomorrow. hah. or even tonight for that matter.

i just finished writing an outline for a 5+ paper that i have to write for fyock tomorrow. now i have to study for my biology quiz, then create a model of a dna or something stupid like that. it's so incredibly tedious. and pointless. and. bleh.

we have an away game tomorrow. in newberry. i'm looking forward to that. we leave school early. i get to leave mrs. mcgee's classroom before school is out. that will make my day. patrick is supposed to be bringing a stereo so that the team can get crunk before the game, en route to newberry. we'll probably go out to eat on the way home. oh, and by the way, we've gained 3 new players. ashby, andrew (a new kid from ohio...he's cool), and tim stumbo. all three of them are better than i...which is good. in fact, most of the team is better than me. and it's all good. i like to learn.

we're supposed to be moving this weekend. yes. i can hardly wait.

kelly mccravy is selling a violin to me. for $23. it's a steal, though i haven't quite scraped the money together yet. i also don't play violin. but with a price like that, i will soon.

i don't like people who are shallow, i've come to realize. and i'm surrounded by them. but i guess i filter them out... or something. because i am just beginning to notice it. i mean, it's human nature of course...to judge by outward appearance. everyone does it. i do too, regrettably. but there are some people who just make a point of being obsessed with appearance. i like to be around people who are really comfortable with themselves and don't feel like they need to do anything to gain respect in the crowd. though i'm sure everyone, at some point or another, is guilty of these things. and i guess i'm just ranting. i've noticed i'm beginning to rant more and more as time progresses. maybe it's contagious when you blog. there will be more, i assure you.

er yeah. i guess i'll go do the school stuff. then i'll eat something. then go to bed.

[listening to: our lady peace]
[mood: ready for the weekend]
[noise of the day: the birdcall]
[phrase: "hit me"]

post-gameday

yes, today is the day after the much anticipated first soccer game. and to be perfectly honest, it was something of a disappointment. it wasn't as big a deal as my mind made it seem. i didn't start, which was probably for several reasons.
1. i'm sick
2. i've never played before
3. i'm no good

all of these, especially 3, could very well be the causes. but i'll let you be the one(s) to decide. anyhow, the team we played, spartanburg day, were awful. there were seriously 2 people on the team that were skillfull, and they scored two lucky goals off of corner kicks in the first ten minutes of the game. they didn't deserve it. we ended up being behind like 5 to 3 in the last 11 minutes of the game, and caught up to tie the game at 5-5. we should have won. they were a weak team, and got lucky. that's all i have to say about that. there was one player in particular, however, who i believe intentionally aggravated me. first, for some reason, my beating him whilst sprinting for the ball upset him, so he decided to grab me by the collar and spin me around, while saying "what the f--- are you doing?!". violations galore. i proceeded to stare him down for the rest of the game. he was a cheap player. if you want to play soccer, play soccer, but don't play dirty, and don't be a sore sport if someone is faster than you.

we have another game on friday, which is an away game in newberry. hopefully we'll have better luck.

i still am maintaining this awful sickness, which consists of sore throat, sniffles, coughles, and feeling fatigued and feverish. it isn't pleasant, and school certainly doesn't improve circumstances.

i'd really like to have my restricted license riiiiiiiiight now.


[listening to: counting crows - august and everything after]
[mood: bleh]