there goes my hero

here i sit. it's 11:53 PM on a friday night. i'm exhausted, but i know that if i were to go to my bed and try to sleep, i'd toss and turn. in the past week, my family's life has been flipped upside down. and God's faithfulness has been more evident than ever before. there are times when i really just want to sit down and cry - and to be honest, there have been times that i have. other times, i just want to stand on a box in the middle of the street, and yell to the world, "Stop!". Doesn't anyone realize what has happened? It seems like everyone should pause with what they are doing, and just be quiet for awhile. No - life goes on. And sometimes, the only way to move on, is to do it while holding the hand of God.

In the past couple of months, my grandfather's health has quickly gone downhill. He hadn't been to a hospital (besides normal checkups) since 1942. In other words, he was the picture of good health. He exercised daily, read books, kept a garden, painted, and cooked - just to name a few. My grandpa also served in World War II, and was stationed in places like Japan, the Philippines, and New Guinea. He was the best son, father, brother, and grandfather anyone could ask for. He was my hero.

A few months ago, my grandpa went in to the hospital to have a heart catherization done. Technically, I'm not sure what all that involves, but I felt confident that it wouldn't be a big deal, and he'd be out of the hospital in a few days. A couple of nights after he left the hospital, he developed a sudden blood clot in his leg, and had to be rushed to the emergency room. While there, the doctors discovered some abnormalities with his heart, which we had known about, but weren't aware of how the problem had progressed. My grandma and grandpa moved into our home, and lived with us - we felt that it would be safer this way, so that we could all be close together.

The time that I have been able to spend with my grandpa over the last several weeks have been priceless. A relative so rightly stated, "When Paul wrote Galatians 5 (The Fruits of the Spirit), he had Wallace in mind". Grandpa cared so much for others, and so little for himself. I'm so proud to be named after him. Maybe someday, I'll live up to even just a little bit of the legacy that my grandpa has left behind.

One week ago today, my grandpa had a cardiac arrest. He stopped breathing for a short period of time, but my mom was able to revive him until the paramedics arrived. He was placed in CICU (Cardiac Intensive Care Unit) and kept on a ventilator, to assist his breathing. We made the decision to take him off of the ventilator, according to his wishes - and he began to breathe on his own, but with much effort.

He was moved to the Hospice Care Center early this week, which is where he stayed until yesterday evening. At about 5:50 PM, my grandpa, Cleve Wallace Holmes, went to be with the Lord. This has been the hardest loss I have ever experienced - nothing compares to the hurt I feel inside after losing him. I count myself blessed, though, to have been able to maintain a close relationship with him, and to be able to have spent such precious time with him before he died.

Only 10 minutes before he died, I was able to play guitar for my grandpa one last time. I don't know if he could hear me or not - and I don't know if I ever will. But I'd like to think that he did hear, and that the music that I played was able to usher him into the Lord's arms. It meant alot to me - God's timing is absolutely perfect.

I appreciate everyone who has been there for my family and myself over the past few days. Your friendships are invaluable to us. I'm resting in the peace that God has given me in the fact that my grandpa is now healed, and is fellowshiping with his Creator in paradise - and will do so for eternity.