five years from where i am right now

i've never felt so much fear and anticipation coming at me at one time as i have felt lately. the mere fact that i really don't know where i'll be in five years is, in itself, pretty scary. but, when i think of where i could be, i feel less afraid about the future and a little bit more excited.

so you, my small yet faithful audience, are surely wondering: where could you be in five years? or much less, two years?

i could be alot of places. i have alot of interests, and in turn, i feel like i have 15 different callings on my life. i used to always tell myself that i'd like to get into an avenue of writing - journalism and the like - or producing/performing music.

sometime during the past year, another possibility was hatched in my mind: ministry. after growing up on the mission field, i always shunned the prospect of returning to a form of overseas missions, if only for the pathetic reason that i had grown up overseas and wanted to spend my adult life in the united states. yes. a pathetic reason.

however, what it all really comes down to is finding the area that God is drawing me to, and pursuing that area in the best way that I can to bring Him as much glory as I can. the hardest part for me is waiting.

i'm definitely not just wallowing in a fog of confusion, though. there are alot of areas of my life that i'm quite sure about. God has been drawing blueprints for my future, and has been gradually revealing more and more of His plan to me. and the more that He shows to me, the more I realize how perfectly He makes things work.

and maybe one day i'll reveal some of these things to the general public, but for now, i'll keep them to myself.

[listening to: different names for the same thing - death cab for cutie]

[mood: so incredibly sleeeeeepyy]