Manila Moon

New Blog! ---> http://manilamoon.blogspot.com



RIP Disguised as Something Clever
2004-2008

the heavy heart

Sometimes I am positive that I am misunderstood 85% of the time that I communicate. Especially with people that I love. Especially those. I wish I could change this. I know that I can, though. So I'm not sure why I chose to use the word "wish". Therein lies the real problem, I believe.

I choose my words poorly. I speak before I think. I must be more deliberate if I ever hope to truly get my point across.

Right now, my head hurts so terribly bad. I would say that I am tremendously sad, if it weren't for the amazing things that God has been doing in my life. I wish that I could re-do alot of the things that I've done during this school year (There, I think that is the way the word "wish" should be used). I salute the concept that my freshman year in college is a learning year. Oh, how I've learned. I just feel like I have made alot of really stupid decisions that I've learned not to make many times in the past. But maybe that's what learning is - learning and re-learning and then learning some more. It has begun to get old, so I'd like to fervently seek to overcome some obstacles in my life during the next few weeks. I appreciate your prayers so much.

Spring break has come and gone in a blur. It seems like just yesterday that I was loading up my car and hitting the open road toward 10 days of unadulterated freedom and all the sand and sunshine any boy could ask for. And here I sit, 5:30 on Sunday morning, the day that I am packing back up and beginning the long drive back to Nashville. The break was good and much needed, though. The weather at the beach was a little bit chilly for my liking, but I enjoyed getting away from everything/one for awhile. I'm looking forward to seeing what the rest of this semester has in store for me. I've been on my toes every since I've gotten to Belmont, and things always seem to be surprising me, so I'm sure that I have an eventful month ahead of me before summer officially begins.


love, steven.

i write to keep the sleep away

So I'm in Knoxville for the weekend...

(I thought that maybe if I started this post off casually, maybe I could avoid the uncomfortable awkwardness of posting for the first time in a really long time. I was wrong.)

But I really am in Knoxville for the weekend. I'm actually leaving tomorrow (Which is actually today) to go back to Nashville. It's hard to believe how quickly this year has gone by. Am I seriously 1/4 of the way through college? I guess staying busy has helped to pass the time. I've certainly been busy, as indicated by my last post... and by the date of my last post.

I have not intentionally neglected blogging. I've just had to get acclimated to this brand new environment that is Belmont University. I think that I'm getting to the point where I can balance academics, music, social things, and blogging and still stay sane. But I guess we'll have to see about the blogging part. I can't make any promises, but I can definitely say that I have been inspired by Kristian, Anna, Troy, and now Justin (who has recently joined the blogging world. congratulations) to keep up the writing. So that is what I intend to do.

By the way, since I last posted, my entire family has visited me in Nashville! A few weekends ago, my parents, grandma, and two little brothers were able to visit. And last weekend, Leah, Anna, Kristian, Justin, Andy, Abby, Troy, Elsie, Matias, and Judah came to see me! It was wonderful being able to share with them my new "home" (whatever that means) and let them meet some of my friends here. They were also able to see me play a couple of shows with the Kopecky Family Band (http://www.myspace.com/kopeckyfamilyband).

It's nearly 5 AM here in Knoxville. I have been tossing and turning in bed for a little bit and thought that maybe it was time to break my blogging silence. Maybe now my spirit will be able to rest easy in this cold dark room in which it is dwelling.

Here's a picture for you, though. Goodnight my dear friends.


(Photo courtesy of Lauren Maus)
This was at a house show at my friend Ive's house. It was great fun.

i've been busier than i ever expected for the last couple of weeks. school + social interaction + music + music + school = no time to even think about writing on here. lately i've been wondering what the real benefit of my writing on here is. i suppose i've been inspired to question these things by one of Kristian's recent blogs (http://tjemsland.blogspot.com). I have really been meaning to do more with this page; honestly, i've been hoping to even fashion a new page design. however, with my recent lack of time to do such things (see formula above), it has been impossible for me to do so.

today i went cliff jumping and cut my foot on a piece of glass, but i'm okay.
right now i'm watching donnie darko with some friends.
i mainly wanted everyone to know that i'm alive
and prospering.

yeah

home!

this is going to be a pretty short post, because i'm not really in the mood to write. but there are a few things that i'd like to address.

1. i am in greenwood for the weekend (labor day!) and i go back to nashville on monday. yeehoo. i'm happy to be home for a bit.
2. you may have noticed that my blog has changed in a couple of very small ways. all of my links that were on the side have disappeared and my comments have changed.
3. in the next couple weeks, a new blog will be born, and will probably be found at a new address as well. just give it time.

okay, bye.

20 minutes

I have twenty minutes until my next class starts. I'm sitting outside the classroom as we speak. I can't remember why I got here so early. I guess it's because I've been in such a rush lately, I thought it would be nice to relax a little bit. I need to do it more often. So far, every sentence that I have written in this post (Besides this one) has started with some form of "I". That's depressing.

The book that I am reading right now (besides academic ones) is called "A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius". The author is Dave Eggers. Sometimes I really enjoy his writing style. But sometimes it really frustrates me. The times that I enjoy it, I think it is due to his candor in the way that he writes. It sometimes frustrates me because I think sometimes it reminds me of myself. Most of the writing revolves around the main character (Who I believe is Dave Eggers, himself). While this is a realistic view (Because most people's thoughts revolve around themselves. I emphasize "most"), it is also a disheartening one. It brings to light how little I really think of others. And though I feel like I do a pretty good job of being considerate, I'm pretty sure that I don't do as good of a job as I'd like to think. Don't misunderstand me, though. Because thus far, this book is one of my favorites ever. It is really an eye-opener, though. I'd advise most people to read it. But not everyone. I especially wouldn't recommend it to anyone sensitive to foul language. Because there is a hefty portion of it in the book. Dave Eggers is a very skilled writer, though.
(I'm only halfway through. For what it's worth.)

Exactly ten minutes.

Directly after this class is over, at around 2:50, I will walk from this building to Maddox. I will spend about an hour working on math, and then hopefully join up with a friend to spend some time reading. I am learning to not be in a hurry. I mentioned that in the post prior to this one. But everyday, I see more and more how important it is.

I am waiting expectantly for the arrival of the used books that I ordered last week. I feel a strange bond to pregnant mothers who await the arrival of their unborn child; no one really knows when it will arrive, but it certainly has taken far too long. I hope to never again write such an awkward similie. I'm sorry.

Class is about to start, I think.

the shadows and the light

Yeah. I think it's time for bed.

I like your sundress

Ben Kweller knows how to rock and roll.
I gave him a hug on Friday night.
He was more than willing to accept the embrace and to return it.
But he made it very clear before we hugged that he was "nasty".
I think he was talking about how sweaty he was after playing onstage.
He was very friendly and a little bit shorter than I imagined he would be.
But now that I think about it, I never really had a notion of his height. So I guess it doesn't matter.

He played really well. His vocal performance was one of the best that I've seen in awhile. It's kind of a gamble with vocals, these days. I appreciate Ben Kweller so much more knowing that what he does on record is exactly what he can do onstage. He played a pretty good mix of songs from his three albums. I have to say, though, I enjoyed the selections from "Sha Sha" the best. I think probably because I have such a history with that album. I'm sure lots of people do, too. It's really a great album. His newest album is great, too. And I really appreciate the second album more now that I got to hear some of the songs live.

Nashville is certainly a good place for music. I don't think I'll ever be in a position where I'm trying to find a show to go to but cannot find one. It's more likely that there will be too many shows to go to, and my wallet will catch on fire due to such intense use.

I think I'm going to go see the Rentals play with Copeland this Friday. Can you believe that? The Rentals! "If you're friends with P, well then you're friends with me". That's right.

I leave you with this picture which will act as proof of my contact with B. Kweller.

happy birthday.

i first posted here in august of 2004.
it is now august 2007.

we've come far, and still have so far to go.
happy third birthday, my little blog.

new additions

You may have noticed this, but you probably didn't. I just added two new friends to my links on the right.


Stephen Stallings is a musician (and oh, so much more).



Jenilee Thornton is a photographer and a visual arts major. She likes funfetti cake, too.



that's all. check them out. i'm going to see ben kweller tonight. i'll be sure to tell you all about it.

Maddox 117

Here I sit in my brand new home. The sun outside is unbearably hot. It's a good day to be indoors. Unless there is a river nearby that is good for swimming in. I don't know of any (Which certainly doesn't mean that one doesn't exist).



It has almost been a week since I first arrived here in Nashville. In some ways it feels like it has been a year that has passed. In some ways, it feels like only a matter of moments. But I like it here. I have quickly realized how little I really know about music, and how much I want to know. I'm surrounded by brilliant musicians, artists, teachers, and most of all, friends. This is a season of change.

I am happy to report that every morning, without fail, my body has woken me before my alarm clock has had a chance to erupt into it's apocalyptic buzzes of death. I am so grateful. My alarm clock buzz somehow has the ability to make it so much harder for me to wake up in the morning.

I think i'll write some more later. I'm going to go eat lunch.

ready, set, interpret

sky blue sky

I might be a bit late on this one, but everyone needs this album.

By the way, it has been exactly a lifetime since I last posted anything. And during the lifetime that transpired between my last post and now, I moved from the Philippines back to South Carolina and now to Nashville, Tennessee. I'll write more about all of that later.

For now, go do yourself a favor and buy "Sky Blue Sky".

Where does the time go?

It is really hard for me to believe that I have been living here in the Philippines for the past five months. It is even harder to believe that I am leaving tomorrow morning to return to South Carolina. I should really be sleeping right now, but I'm quite restless.

Tomorrow is my last day here for quite a long time. The reality of this statement never really hit me until the moment that I typed it and reread the words. I don't know when I'll be back here, but it certainly won't be anytime soon. That thought makes it a little bit harder to leave.

The Arcade Fire

I have owned their first album, Funeral, for quite some time, and I really never got into it. However, their new album, Neon Bible really caught my attention. Now, I'm finally seeing the beauty of Funeral. Check out The Arcade Fire here.


(oh, and they have a really awesome website)

the case of the midnight dog baby

Last night - or should I say very, very early this morning - I made contact with a critter so otherworldly I am somewhat afraid to even write about, for fear that it may return to haunt me during a future night, seeking to settle some sort of score. However, I value your entertainment over my nighttime safety, so I will tell the story anyway.

I was having a fairly difficult time reaching the state of slumber last night. I tossed and turned and rolled and rustled, but couldn't seem to find a comfortable enough position. As it was nearing 2am, my brain decided that it did not care what position my body was in, and was going to shut down whether the rest of me was ready or not. I let my eyes begin to close and my body relax, and at that moment, I felt a cold wind blow across my skin as I heard the squeaky growl of something that sounded like a prepubescent dingo of the night, coming from somewhere near the foot of my bed. If I didn't know better, I would have thought that the little creature had jumped onto my bed and was somewhere burrowing under my sheets, emitting his unpleasant snarl as he wiggled his way closer to me. Just in case of such a situation, I swiftly began beating the area of mattress surrounding all sides of my body. My flailing fists made no contact with any lurking beasts.

I fumbled around for my cellphone, which was somewhere on my bedside table, along with a full glass of water (which my panicked hands somehow managed to avoid knocking across the room). I figured that the cellphone light was my most available source of light without me having to actually touch my feet to the ground, which would have given the little dingo the chance to nibble at my toes. I nervously shined my brave cellphone light around the room, expecting to see the grinning eyes of some fur-covered wolfbaby crouched in the corner, preparing to leap into bed with me.

I had no intentions of exiting my bed until daybreak after not finding my perpetrator by the beam of my cellphone light. The truth is, I honestly didn't want to find whatever creature it was that emitted those wistful snorts at me through the inky darkness. I resorted to mummifying myself in my bedsheet by rolling my entire body tightly inside it, so that if my visitor returned, he wouldn't be able to make direct contact with my body- at least not right away. The more I thought about this, the less it comforted me. I realized how vulnerable I was having my hands restricted so tightly at my side. If perhaps the beast returned and were to dance about around my head, I would have no way of swatting him away with my hands, if they were bound to my waist. I unwrapped myself and prayed that whatever had been in my room would realize my innocence and good-nature and leave me be.

I quickly reached a level of fatigue when not even the cry of a forlorn dogchild could have kept me awake. My eyes apprehensively closed, and I drifted to sleep, never again to be visited by my unidentified intruder.

william fitzsimmons

"william came into music much in the same way that the von trapp children did: he was utterly forced to. the youngest child of two blind parents, william was surrounded by ominous instruments and brilliant sounds ranging from pianos, classical guitars, recorders, and the family pipe organ which was played as william and his sibling would attempt to find rest for the night. the household record player rotated at a steady 78 rpms, and was constantly spinning classical orchestral and organ works, while being replaced on occasion by the folk music of joni mitchell, bob dylan, james taylor, and other contemporaries of the time. besides those early stylings which formed the base of his melodic sense and love of reflective music, fitzsimmons claims influences ranging from nick drake, elliott smith, iron and wine, sufjan stevens, to aimee mann, patty griffin, ben gibbard, and sun kil moon."

click here for more.

i am usually fairly skeptical when it comes to listening to new artists. especially artists who are sort of wading into a genre that was defined by another particular artist. i heard about william fitzsimmons several months ago. i dismissed him. i figured that i could live with one Sam Beam in my life. this afternoon, i gave mr. fitzsimmons another chance, and was pleasantly surprised. i began listening to his music after completely clearing my mind of any thought regarding iron and wine. and it helped.

take about five minutes (if you have it) and visit his myspace page. listen to any of the songs. i like them all.

a few things

It won't be long before I begin my fifth and final month being in the Philippines, and all that this blog has to show for it is five measly posts. Counting this one, it will be six. As you can all see, this has been near the bottom of my priority list. It turns out that as much as I enjoy writing and such things, I apparently don't like it enough to keep this page updated. To me, it is in the same category as writing emails. I don't typically enjoy recounting all of the experiences that I have been living from a day-to-day basis. So, after being inspired by my brother-in-laws page (whose link will soon be updated), I have decided to begin posting on things that actually interest me, rather than my daily life, which happens to become a bit dull when I am made to re-enact it through text.

With this change in theme, I cannot promise that I will be any more consistent in posting. But at least I'll have a better reason to post than to write about myself. How refreshing.

still

as fate would have it, tonight my schedule is free. i can take my time doing just about anything that i please. in all honesty, i cannot recall the last time that i felt such freedom. since i arrived in january, it seems that nearly every minute of my days have been filled with some sort of activity. i have to admit that i am enjoying this night of stillness.


____________

i have never been fond of those little personality tests that are often given to people to classify "what kind of person" someone is. how can a silly test accurately determine a person's demeanor? of course, they aren't all wrong. i can clearly see how some facets of these tests can be correct, and i have noticed for myself how they have accurately describe little pieces of my personality.

but people are changing.

people are always changing.