congratulations

i'm quite in love with eisley's new album "room noises". despite my disappointment that they changed the song "telescope eyes" up a bit (the tempo, mainly), i am growing very fond of the album as a whole. there is something about the band that intrigues me. their melodies are so...enchanting. when i listen to their music, i feel like i'm reading a book. i'm engrossed. [Note: by no means do i mean that i don't like "telescope eyes"... i only meant that i liked the song alot more on the Laughing City EP]

i'm in sort of a weird mood. like... i can't explain it. i'm not unhappy whatsoever. i'm just sort of... supremely passive. i feel disconnected in a sense.


costa rica. we leave thursday. almost too soon. not that i'm not excited, because i am. i just don't know if i'm prepared mentally and spritually. and i know that once i get there, memories from the philippines are going to hit me like a tidal wave. i wouldn't be surprised if i was knocked half-way down the mountain.

on a more unpleasant note, i have alot to do tonight. i have a gigantic spanish map test to study for. a gigantic anatomy quiz to study for. a gigantic geometry review sheet to complete. and something else, i just can't put my finger on it.

.... with all of these things to do, somehow i feel that blogging outweighs everything else on the scale of importance. haha. i'm dumb.

what on earth.

well, all of my plans for tonight have completely shipwrecked. it turns out that i am certainly not destined to leave the house, for some reason or another. i guess i'll find that reason out soon enough. i got so far as 5 minutes down the road then have someone tell me that i wasn't welcome at the place i was going. so i turned around.

it's a little bit frustrating. but i'm over it. i'll just chill at home and much needed downtime.

but i really need to go to greenville tomorrow. i need to find some clothes terribly. if anyone will drive me...give me a call: 910-1707. thanks.

anyhow. that's it. i played 34 games of tennis today. i am ranked #3. and i am tired.

beginning again.

tonight marks the beginning of more than one new thing.



none can i say will last through the week.



i hope they all do.








listen to: music

this morning i was orthostatic

i awoke this morning feeling exhausted and a bit sickly, but that is often the case when you have a busy weekend. however, as i got in the shower, things changed. i started getting incredibly dizzy and disoriented. i forgot where i was, what i was doing, and what i was taking a shower for. i felt incapable of doing much of anything because of my confusion, so i somewhat collapsed on the shower floor. now however humorous a mental image that creates for you, it was really not a great feeling this morning. it was one of the most strange things that has ever happened to me. all the while, random words were streaming through my head. they made sense, but they were popping into my head without any sort of cue. it was all spontaneous. i guess i passed out on the floor of the shower for a short time, because i awoke being again disoriented, but i was able to stand up. as i was preparing to turn the water off in the shower, i realized that i didn't know how. i had forgotten how to turn the water off... i was like there wasn't a knob there to control the water - or at least i wasn't seeing it. so i got a little bit panicky, because i knew it really wasn't normal. i didn't know what to do at all. finally, by some miracle, the knob "appeared", although incredibly blurry. i dizzily made my way to it, and fumbled to turn it off. i was really skeptical as to if i would be able to drive to church, much less play drums when i got there. but my condition wore off, and left me with a headache. but i'd rather have a headache than be in the stupor that i was in earlier.

i asked my dad about it when i got home, and he told me that i was probably "orthostatic", which combines two things - being dehydrated, and being heated up rapidly. after quickly getting in the shower after waking up (and not having much fluids lately), all of the blood rushed out of my brain, causing me to experience the things that i did. it wasn't pleasant, but now i know to be much more careful in the future....

the end.

brace yourselves

i now look at myself in the mirror and wince at what i see. i look like a pirahna, and i feel that i may injure someone by smiling. and it's awful feeling something constanly "on" your teeth. i just want to rip them off. i'm also scared that a bracket will pop and cause me some sort of awful injury.

it's safe for all of you to assume now, without me having said it, that i have gotten braces. i can't say that i like it, but i do hope that this discomfort will be worth it in the end. for the time being, i am confined to eating soft foods like yogurt, applesauce, and other materials soothing to braced-mouths like mine. my next goal is to convince kids at school not to call me "dinosaur-face"... because i really do look like something out of the jurassic era.

i didn't do so well on my anatomy test today. and i studied my brains out.

my mouth is uncomfortable. i will now go play guitar.

of montreal

so, tomorrow i'm going to Atlanta with my mom and brothers to pick up my sister, Leah, who is flying in from Norway. i am super excited about her coming back - especially since she'll be here for at least a year. Kristian, my brother-in-law, is flying in sometime early March... I'm not sure of the exact date. But I'm really happy that they are coming back. I can't wait.

I have an anatomy quiz tuesday. Then a test wednesday. This week is going to be an academic nightmare.

i really hate music-writing blocks. even moreso since I'm stuck in one as we speak. I have numerous song ideas and melodies, but I'm never clever enough to write suitable music or lyrics to weld them into complete songs. i do hope that this is a phase, and that i am not going to be uncapable of writing a full song for the rest of my life. i don't know if i could live with that.

lately, i have been into alot of different music than what i usually tend to listen to... not that i don't like them. it's just that i normally listen to... different things. lately, my playlist has looked something like this..
1. the strokes
2. franz ferdinand
3. the killers
4. the stills
5. muse
6. lovedrug
7. keane
8. the white stripes
9. and the like

why such a sudden change in taste? it's not so much a change in taste as it is a need for change. for the last few months, i've been listening to bands such as copeland, mae, the format, the rocket summer, etc etc etc. i still thoroughly enjoy each and every one of those - and would definitely consider them some of my favorite bands. but i feared that i would grow tired of listening to them. which would be an awful thing. so i just made a change.


i'm done with writing for now.

no strength left

i've had a pretty active day. sort of.

last night, jonathan spent the night. we went to the girls game at GCS, where they beat Richard Winn, taking them to state. it was a great game. after that, we went to Lander to watch the boys championship game, with King versus Richard Winn. RW won. We ate at McDonalds. After eating there, I decided that I'm going to take a break from fast food for awhile. I haven't eaten there once and felt good afterwards. I am left feeling greasy and in need of a shower. And it upsets my stomach.

Today, Jonathan and I woke up at 12:40, went to play tennis with Ashby and Caleb at 1:50 or so. We played. And I played awful. I can usually play decently against Ashby, but today I made a fool of myself. Enough said.

After that, I played soccer/ran at the Y by myself. and now i'm home. and am completely drained of life. i'm definitely going to chill for the rest of the day.


there's a letter that i've been meaning to write. i just don't know how to write it yet.

we all have our days.

when i say "those", i mean me.

[note: if you hate hearing people whine, don't continue. because, contrary to what i usually believe about feeling sorry for myself, this post is filled with self pity. forgive me. i'm feeling under the weather in more ways than two]

i feel lost. there are these endless possibilities, choices, problems, questions, and conflicts that i am faced with. i don't know how to deal with half of them. my moods have been fluctuating nearly as much as the weather has been lately. one day i feel top notch, completely encouraged and full of life. the next day, i'm just confused. not necessarily in a bad mood, or raging at people spontaneously. i just feel tired of life (not living...mind you). i'm sick of high-school conflict. i'm tired of social disorder. maybe i'm not really explaining how i feel very accurately. but i'm sort of beyond a point that i can tell.

i'm exhausted. everytime that i take a break from school, i am going on to partake in some other tiring event. i just need to slow down.

and i feel physically sick, but i am pretty confident that most of it has to do with my lack of sleep.

i'm getting a little bit tired of complaining, so i'll end this. i wouldn't be surprised if i erased this post soon. so anyways. have a good night.

the blunder is back

for all of you who feared indefinite dormancy for the band sunny blunder, you can breathe a sigh of relief. we're back. a brand new site has been designed by our multi-talented drummer Andy, and along with the new site we have a couple of new demos for you to enjoy. you can expect another new one to be added in a matter of weeks, as the final mixing touches are being made. anyhow, we're all quite excited about what is going to happen in the next few months. we have tons of new material that is being polished up, and we're hoping to continue to give you new things to listen, and hopefully be able to play a show in the near future. and remember to keep posting on the message boards!


and as for me [steven], i'm leaving tomorrow for St. Louis, to then be picked up by my friend Craig Hobson and be driven to Greenville College in Illinois, where I'll be spending the weekend, as well as Monday and Tuesday. The two sole purposes for the trip are to see Craig and to scope out the college, as it's a possible place for me to go after graduation. I'm very much looking forward to this trip, and spending time with Craig.

i hope all is well with everyone. Unless I get a chance in Illinois, I probably won't be posting much in between now and next Tuesday.

I leave you with this: Never trust a man with the food, change of clothes, and a drink in his hand.
[compliments of the get up kids]

metalmouth

i am soon to have guests residing in my mouth. yes, soon there will be metal wires and brackets keeping my teeth company, and hopefully straightening them. i'm a little bit worried though. i don't know why. i mean, i don't THINK people will laugh at me. if they did, then it would be pretty sad. but there is just this feeling of anxiousness inside of me - i'm going to be having the braces for an estimated time of 24 months.

that's 2 years.

i will probably have graduated from high school by the time they are taken off. goody.

i went to a copeland/mae concert a few nights ago. it was everything i could have asked for. i enjoyed it immensely, and was given the privilege to speak with copeland after they played, as well as have a picture taken with the band. fun was had by all.

i think i'll write more later.

driving on ice

i had an utterly interesting "first" in my driving experience this afternoon while taking out the trash. before i continue, though, i'll set the scene. i woke up this morning to most of my yard being covered with snow-like ice. when i say snow-like, it means that the only thing about it that's like snow is its appearance. while touching it, you realize that it's much harder and thicker than snow. for some reason, where i live we just got this rotten icy downfall during the night, while the rest of the city of greenwood recieved full-fledged snow. anyhow, back to the story: my mom wanted me to drive the van to the dump to drop the trash off. neither of us knew if it would actually be open in this weather, but i decided to go anyways. as i drove, i realized that in order to maintain safe control of the vehicle, i had to limit my speed to about 25 miles an hour. if i absent-mindedly drifted to anywhere above 35, the van would skid around on the road... which happened more than once. when i was about 2 miles away from my house, and two miles from the dump ( a perfect place for something like this to happen ) i noticed that the visibility on my windshield was becoming awful. apparently, the tiny drops of water that were falling on the glass were rapidly freezing. i tried using my windshield wipers to clear my vision, which only made it worse. it came to a point that i had to roll down the window and stick my head out, braving the fierce arctic winds so that i could see where i was going. i was finally able to skid and turn into a back road so that i could try to wipe off my windshield. "wiping off my windshield" consisted of me using my fingernails to break the impossibly frozen substance that simply wouldn't remove itself from my van. finally, after contracting hypothermia, i was able to clear about one square inch of somewhat transparent glass so that i would be able to reach the dump safely.

luckily, once i began driving again, i instinctively tried my wipers again, and to my delight, they began to clear up the rest of the windshield... and as it began to rain more, more of the ice melted. i made it home safely, somehow.

the dream of evan and chan

So, today my mom asked me what my plans were for college. Do I know? No. I still have at least a year to think about it, but I'd really like to have something planned out - just so that I know. When people have asked in the past, I've told them something within the realm of music, art, and writing. Okay, music. I play it alot. And I enjoy it alot. But what would I do with it if I were to major in it? I wouldn't want to teach. I mean, I could, but I'm really not interested in that aspect. The main thing would be performance. and even then, i don't know.

Art. I just really... like it. I've never been very good, and I don't know enough about it to even consider it as a future field of study. I think the Art field is usually reserved to those who have an ounce of natural ability, which I don't, really. I guess even if only to broaden my horizons, I should start drawing/painting again sometime soon.

Writing. This seems like the most probable major for me. Although, I'm still not really sure yet. Due to a terrible assortment of English teachers for the past few years, I have learned next to nothing in grammar and such. Even in my english class this year, people are talking about present participals, verbals, and what-not. I never learned any of it. I feel foolish being interested in writing and not having a clue what they're talking about. We'll see, I suppose.

This week marks the beginning of Steven Holmes playing "catch-up" in school. It's going to be a definite uphill battle trying to make up for the past couple weeks of backsliding that I've been doing, but I'm sure it will be worth it in the end.

My eyes desire rest, as does my mind, body, and soul. So I'm going to call it a night.

miraculous

two rather miraculous things have happened in the past two days, and both clearly show God's hand in my life.

first of all, many of you know that I'm planning to embark on the Costa Rica missions trip in March with my school. I was meant to write letters to various people in order to raise support (possibly), however, I seemed to fall behind and not get around to it (due in part to my procrastination). This past Friday, money was due. Somehow, I was able to get the required amount in order to pay Todd, but it will require alot of work for me to pay the debt off. In other words, I'm hard on money, and attaining the last bit of money for the trip will also be an interesting struggle. However, yesterday evening, as I was arriving at GCS for the basketball games, I passed Todd in the hall, and he stopped me, informing me that someone had anonymously donated $100 to me for the trip. God's provision is absolutely amazing. I am so blessed. I don't know what else could have prompted this persons heart besides the Holy Spirit, because seeing as I haven't sent out letters, no one really knows that I'm in need - or even going, for that matter.

This second event pertains much more to my actual well-being than the last. Two nights ago, I was driving home, and I was going down a hill towards a stop sign at a very reasonable speed, however, as I held my foot on the brake, it didn't seem to be slowing my down adequately enough to be stopped by the time I got to the stop sign. So I pressed harder. I ended up skidding completely past the stop sign, thankfully, there were no cars coming. It was a rather frightening experience, but I dismissed it as merely being my mis-calculating my speed and stopping distance. I was quite cautious for the rest of the drive, though. Since then, I've not noticed anything really weird about the brakes, except that they weren't very good. But again, I thought it may have been that I just wasn't use to them. This morning, as my dad was driving to work, the brakes were gone in the car. So, he had to turn it around and leave it at home and drive another vehicle. God spared me. If it weren't for His hand of protection over me, I could be in a terrible spot right now - badly injured, or even dead. This makes me realize God's power even more than I did before. God's love is too marvelous to be fathomed.

the things to come...

i have a pretty good feeling about this semester. although i'm tired, worn out, procrastinating (as we speak), and in a complete dislike for school itself - i have this suspicion that things are going to turn out well, and there will be more that happens than i expect. i'd like to plant myself as much as possible in the Word of God this semester, and constantly be thinking to myself to have a Christlike attitude towards every situation. I tried it today, and it has turned out to be one of the most challenging things I've ever done. Almost every ten minutes I'd catch myself doing or saying something that was completely opposite from what I was trying to do. I challenge all of you to try this as well - not in a preachy "holier than thou" way, but just as one Christian to another. It has made me think about my attitude towards people, and my attitude towards life in general.

[note: I know at least one person has noticed this in my life - it appears that I fluctuate alot. One day I may be living for myself - for the moment - and doing what pleases myself. Then suddenly I've transformed into some sort of spiritual machine. I'd like to point out that I'm not trying to put on a mask and pretend that I'm a perfect person or that I'm always doing the right thing. I'm not. I'm human, and humans make mistakes. I'm sure there will be thousands of other instances that I go through a "me" phase, and then I'll be drawn back by the Spirit of God. God doesn't expect us to be perfect - all that He asks is that we surrender our hearts to Him in worship, and to put forth every ounce of our energy furthering His Kingdom. When mistakes happen, they happen, and we are to repent, and we then discover new depths to God's unending mercy. It has happened countless times to me. Anyhow, I've probably gone further than I intended to, but I just didn't want give the wrong impression in whatever I've been writing, because there have certainly been misunderstandings in the past.]


I was able to get my waiver today. Unfortunately, while taking my new license picture, my incredible lack of photogenic-ness shone as brightly as day. That's all that really needs to be said. Needless to say, only my closest friends and relatives will be given the privilege of viewing this horror, and be allowed to scoff me to no end.

Wow, anyways, I've procrastinated far too long, and I need to do my reading for Anatomy and Physiology. Wonderful.

boy, was i wrong.

some people can be so incredibly immature, i don't understand it. but whatever. all i can do is treat them how i'd want to be treated, no more, no less. haha, i'm really only posting this so i can vent. but it doesn't seem to be working out very well.

i learned how to drive a stick shift today. aren't you proud? i'm kind of proud of myself, however, i hope that my knowing how to drive manual transmission won't put me into a position where i have to drive the Brown Truck to school. because that would be awful.

i've gone to the Y for three days in a row. can someone say discipline? hahah.

well, i have Fusion practice this evening. i haven't played at Fusion in quite awhile, so it should be fun. however, i'll have a bit of work to do when i get home for school... which will be anything but fun.

i'm off.

shine

i must admit that i've been doing awful lately. those who have been around me have surely noticed. however, every night must eventually become day - and it seems that i'm finally finding a way from my misery. God is simply amazing. i don't know how else to say it, except that He's reignited my love for Him. I know that struggles lay waiting ahead, but I feel like I am better prepared in approaching them. I'm not sure, but I do hope that there is noticeable difference in my life - or that I continue to strive for God's will for me.

anyhow, i need to shower. i feel ugly. more later.

and the buzzer sounds. 

fountain. 

britain. 

i'm not sure what it is about this picture that i like.... i just like it.