i should have seen this coming...

i haven't completed reading a book in such a long time.

i'm pretty sure that this fact has been draining the creative juices out of me.

so i'm giving myself a goal; i'm going to read a book.

and i'm pretty sure that the book will be blue like jazz.

i've made the selection hurriedly, but sometimes hurried decisions end up being the best decisions.

...and there's this burning.

just like last year at about this time, i'm realizing that after living in a tropical asian country, i'm still not used to cold weather. we've hardly entered autumn, and i'm feel like i'm going to catch frostbite. but honestly, i enjoy cool weather. i've just been surprised at how not used to it i am. i suppose it's time to break out the coats and jackets and big fluffy blankets.

i've been having these inconsistent bursts of songwriting output lately. for example, i've gone for at least a week just tossing around old ideas and trying desperately to incorporate something fresh into them. after not being able to do so, i became frustrated and sad. i felt as if any skill that i may have previously possessed had somehow abandoned me to find someone more worthy of possessing it. last night, however, i sat on the edge of my bed with my guitar and wrote 3 or 4 neat little parts for songs. just know that when i say "neat little parts", that is only abiding by my standard of neat. but i like them, and i guess that's all that really counts right now.

ha. alright. well.

i don't feel like i've become a better person after writing this post. maybe some of you will feel better after reading it. seeing as hearing about my life is sooo enriching to everyone elses. hahaha.

bye.

sorry.

to anyone reading:
my last post wasn't meant to be griping self-centered plea for sympathy. i was reading back over it, and i saw how it could seem that way. but i wrote it at a time when alot of things were running through my mind, and i felt helpless. i apologize for anything/everything that may have come across the wrong way.

the quiet things that no one ever knows

i came dangerously close to posting one of those really vague posts. you know, the kind that has no real direction. the kind of post that leaves you with an obscure quote and the challenge for you to interpret it correctly. and everyone thinks in his or her own mind that they know where i'm coming from. i wonder if they do.

so, i decided against it. because i'd hate to give anyone the responsibility of reading my mind, especially when i have so much on it.