the time has come...

i'd like to personally invite all of you out to the Black Cow this Friday evening (the 3rd of June). Sunny Blunder will be playing an acoustic set at a time that is yet to be determined (probably 7-8ish). We're all pretty excited about getting to play, since it's been quite a while since we've been able to do so. We'd love to see anyone/everyone there who is able to make it. If you need directions, you can IM me on AOL at the screen name "jane can win", or check the website for more info.

Again, don't hesistate to IM me if you desire more information. I'm looking forward to seeing you there!

it's funny...

this summer is a funny thing. you see, at this point in my summer, i'd typically be overcome with a blissful sense of detachment knowing that I had no real responsibilities to tend to for the upcoming 2 or so months. no schedules, no plans, no commitments. just an unmapped road ahead - inviting me to embark on its uncharted trails. i don't feel that right now. in fact, i don't really feel like school has ended. sure, i don't have to go to class and endure tireless lecture and assignment, but that doesn't mean that i have nothing else unpleasant to do. i have 3 classes to finish this summer: US History, Government, and Consumer math. I wouldn't be concerned with that if those were my only worries over break. However, I have a job at Bruster's, and who knows what kind of hellish hours they are going to force me to work. Plus, I've been asked to teach drum lessons and to help in the orchestra for the play Joseph at the Community Theater. Of course, I'd get paid for these things (not the schoolwork). I'd get paid especially well for the theater production. But there is a fine line that separates the importance of getting rest during your summer vacation and making money. I haven't quite found it yet.

And there are these decisions that need to be made soon; decisions that I really can't decide. Not all of them are important, mind you. Some of them, maybe. But needless to say, they all must be made.

My brain isn't functioning to it's full potential, therefore, my creative output is equivalent to the singing abilities of a mute Iranian tree-ferret.

Tonight's post has ended. You may all return to your daily routine, unless reading my blog is part of your daily routine. And if that were the case, then I'd promptly give you a hug and a kiss and encourage you to continue to the next item on your schedule.

Thanks. Goodnight.

Yes, it's true - Anatomy is over!

peeking out at summer...

the Ups and Downs

Life is comprised of a series of valleys and peaks, for lack of better description. I'm in a valley, and have been for quite some time now, although alot of people don't realize it. I'm not really vocal about everything that goes on in my life. A part of that I'm okay with, but on the other hand, things get bottled up until one day (Today) you just can't really take it anymore.

I don't want to overplay things, because, well, I just don't really like doing that. I am in need of so much change in so many ways. I don't know where to begin.

I need to do my best for a change. Please pray for me.

sometimes i don't have a clue...

Let me start off by saying that I love Colin Gore. He has blessed me with an early birthday present which is a ticket to the midnight showing of Star Wars tomorrow evening, which officially kick-off my 17th birthday. It was incredibly generous of him to do such a thing, and I appreciate it from the bottom of my heart. But yes, I turn 17 on Thursday. This means several things.
1) I'll no longer be 16.
2) I'll recieve a full drivers license (no more of this being home before 8 o'clock nonsense)
3) I'll be merely one year from being 18
4) I'll be half way to 34
5) Um. I'll. Er. I'll be 17.

Hurray.

We dissected a fetal pig today in Anatomy. We do the same tomorrow and Thursday. I really hate it alot. I'd never make it in a medical profession.

One week from today, my problems will be over.

Academically, at least.

Putting the "Respect" back into respect

I will do my best not to name names during this post. I just desperately need to vent - I fear that if I don't, I may go mad. Again, I must make the usual plea and/or disclaimer of "Please don't interpret this the wrong way" because I'm only trying to release frustration that has been swelling up within me for the past 24 hours.


What on EARTH is going on with today's youth? Someone please explain to me how some children feel the need to display such effrontery to their superiors without showing even a hint of remorse? (I say "children" because I can't think of any other word that could better describe their behaviour) I've been subjected to such displays for far too long, but I'm afraid that if I tried to reprimand someone, I'd either 1) miscommunicate and end up losing a friend, or, 2) kill them. I don't want to do either. I just honestly don't understand how one could disregard adults, those in authority, with complete complacency.

I am especially sensitive to this within the classroom. When a teacher is teaching a class, pay a little blasted attention. They are giving of their time to give you a decent future. Don't throw it out the window - and if you do, don't spoil it for the rest of us and make teenagers look like chatty and immature toddlers who can't handle responsibility. Fail your class, if that' s really what you want to do - but please, do it quietly. Believe it or not, a handful of us in the classroom are there to learn, and provoking the teacher to the point of a near-heartattack doesn't exactly parallel the qualities that reflect a healthy learning environment.

I'm not saying that we need to be stone faced 24/7 while in class - because if that were the case, then I think I may shrivel up and die before I don the cap and gown. But there are some teachers (We all know who they are) who require a little bit more calmness in the classroom in order to maintain their sanity. I, for one, would like to save each one of these teachers from an early death and do my part in settling down.

I'm not going to whip out 50 Bible verses to support what I've said, because I think we all know what it boils down to. Respect your elders - they've been on this earth many moons longer than we have, and they deserve all of the respect that we have to offer. Submit to those in charge - God placed them where they are for a reason, and who would we be to question God's supreme judgement?

There may have been more that I had on my heart to say about this, but my headache is gone, which means my rant is drawing to a close. I may add more later, of course, only if I think of more to add.

On Saturday, I have a job interview (Yes, it's true). A Bruster's Ice Cream Shoppe is opening in Greenwood, and I would fancy being hired. I turned in my application today, and they called later in the afternoon scheduling the interview. Please pray for me as I ready myself, because chances are, I'll do something dumb, completely killing any chance of employment.

As far as my physical health goes, I feel like I'm becoming an obese buffalo, slowly roaming my way into extinction. I need to start running again. Every time I start, I do it for like a week, then things become far too busy, and I have to stop. Then a month passes and I resolve to start back.... and the cycle repeats.

The year is almost over, and I'm enthralled. But I have a bit of work that lies between myself and the final day, and I have no choice but to brave the elements, and march fearlessly forward into the hail-storm of last minute assignments and manic late-nights.

Tonight's edition has ended.

Is Chivalry Dead?

[disclaimer: i didn't proofread this. i'm sure that it will hop around quite a bit, and some parts not make complete sense, but it all sort of plopped out onto the page. i'm far too lazy to go back over and check for errors, i apologize. also, i'm not intending to condemn those around me and ignore the whale in my eye (or however you want to put it). this post applies to me, along with a pretty large percentage of the teenage male population of the world. it's something that has bothered me for quite awhile, and i doubt that i expressed my feelings to their full extent. if need be, more posts may come. but this is all for now.]


I've noticed a serious and unfortunate lack of gallantry in our society lately. Why? I'm sure several things could be blamed, however, I believe the root of the problem lies in the so-called "entertainment" that we are surrounded with constantly, which, in my opinion, revolves around the love of complete rubbish and foolery.

With nearly every male artist in the industry (namely those who have recently stormed the rap and r&b charts) ranting about "getting some", it should be to no surprise that the value that we place on women has been steadily declining. Don't let me give you the wrong impression, though, because the worst thing that could happen is this post coming across as an indie music follower paying his disrespects to the hip-hop scene. No, although most of you who know me know that I'm not the most "pimpin' gangsta' in the 'hood", the aim of this post wasn't to prove that. I'm only trying to point out the affect that hip-hop (and surely other genres) has had on our respect for the female population.

Following the disgusting example that some artists set before today's youth, too many "relationships" (if they are worthy to be considered as such) are entered and exited in the frightening span of sometimes only a few days. What good is this doing to teenagers? Minds are being made up that girl's feelings are as worthless as an old boot, and we boys have the permission to treat them to our liking. If we decide that we don't like one, we let them know in the least honest way as possible, then head back to the hunting grounds.

Whatever happened to being polite? Or saving "boy-talk" for when you're actually in the presence of boys? Too many times have I been a bystander of conversations where the subject-matter turned sour and the males continually toyed with perverse talk. Where on earth is the respect? I mean, seriously. What people in their right minds could possibly think that obscene humor around girls earns brownie-points? Too many. I may be fighting for a lost cause, but whether lost or not, it's certainly a cause worth fighting for.

So guys, I know it's hard, but how about holding the door open for your female friends more often? Try keeping your jokes clean when around the ladies (which should actually be done all the time, not just in the presence of women). Treat girls with all-around respect. Remember, they are someone's daughter, grand-daughter, niece, sister, and future wife. What level of respect would they have you give them? No family member wants their sister/daughter/whatever to be the brunt of some cheap joke, or to be subject to disrespect. Moreover and most importantly, all girls are the precious daughters of our Heavenly Father, who, I'm sure, could do far worse things to you for messing with them than their earthly fathers could (like wiping you from the face of the earth). God created woman to accompany man, not to be the slave of man, or to be some trophy whose purpose is solely for display. I'm not saying that every girl deserves her way every single moment of the day, but they could certainly use a little bit more love than they've been getting. Think about it.

this hasn't been my day

not to say that it should have, but today hasn't gone terribly well for me. i feel like i've disappointed people, acted contrary to who i really am, and been quite irresponsible. at the moment, i'd really like to find a deep hole to fall into. it might be better for the rest of society, or at least people that know me.

after what mr. johnson said last night, i've honestly been trying to analyze my motives, and the actions that result. unfortunately, any plan to somewhat improve the way i act backfired, and left me with nothing but a smoldering pile of good intentions gone wrong. before anyone says it, i'll say it first: i'm being tested. i know. and i'm not intentionally having a pity party or trying to reap free sympathy from those around me. i just need to release emotions. and in order to save my self from releasing my emotions in the form of jumping off of a tall building, or beating myself with a stick, i decided that writing was my best alternative. and what better place to do it than here?

in one sense, it's nice to be able to actually see trials placed in my life, and not blindly fumbling through hardship not knowing which way is up. because i've been there before. i'm reassured because i know that God isn't going to be leaving my side anytime soon, as long as I stay close to Him, and dwell in His word.

ad;fdsajf;ladsjfdslafjsdlk. i don't know what to say.



i made a 97 on my spanish test today, which was encouraging, seeing as i'm doing so incredibly poorly in that class that it's almost funny. i have an anatomy test tomorrow. i have no thoughts regarding it right now. AND a literature test tomorrow, as well. we'll see how things come together. oh, yes, i have a geometry test tomorrow too. yes.


good grief, i don't know what else to write. i could use any prayers. thank you.

i do believe that i enjoy this far too much. 

you shine so bright

changes are definitely taking place. i don't know where anything is taking me anymore. i wish i could be normal.


so tonight i was inducted into the National Honors Society. Joseph Johnson's speech hit home with me. I enjoyed it immensely, and wish i were in his class so that I could be exposed to his wisdom more often. I feel quite obligated to uphold my grades for the remainder of my high school career, because frankly, they've been slipping over the last couple of weeks. Luckily, my NHS term begins next year, and that will be the only year that I have to maintain noteworthy grades. I plan to make them noteworthy.

Tomorrow I'm being given the privilege to leave with the juniors to go out to eat, to wherever. This privilege will be bestowed upon them for every wednesday for the rest of the year, and I've managed to include myself in the festivities.

I have a Spanish test along with an English test tomorrow. And another English test and Anatomy test thursday. then ANOTHER english test friday. And, crap, a geometry test thursday.

Academic doom looms silently overhead. I am anxiously awaiting it's morbid toll on my future in high school.


until next time..

"i won't try to explain why i believe...

....'til i rest in peace. i won't try, if you don't try...." [if you can name that tune, i'll kiss you].

prom was this weekend. saturday evening, to be more precise. the morning began like most other saturday mornings for me, except that i awoke feeling as if i had spent the previous night in a garbage can. i've never felt dumpier than i did that morning. it did little to dampen my spirits though, seeing as this was the "big day". as i opened my groggy eyes, i also came to the realization that aside from my complete state of "dumpus extremis" (the biological term for a dangerous level of dump), it was storming outside. i, like most people, enjoy a nice spring shower every now and then. but not on 'prom day'. it eventually subsided, much to my delight. the prom itself was a very educational experience for me. as i'm sure most of you know (as if i haven't mentioned this enough already), i grew up in the philippines, and attended a school called faith academy. at this school, middle school and high school have a species of social gathering commonly referred to as "Banquets". From what I've heard, Banquets are distant relatives of Proms, bearing slight resemblance, but overrall, having nothing in common. Therefore, I was utterly unprepared for what I faced at the Greenwood Christian School Junior/Senior Prom of the year Two Thousand and Five.

There was dancing. I've never danced socially in my entire life, and I shuddered at the thought of myself being out "on the floor" displaying my moves for the world to see. I'm sure I wasn't the only one doing the shuddering. However, my prom date came to my rescue, and made it look like I had done it before, and somehow I left the event without being publically humiliated, beaten, or scoffed.

The night was concluded with a midnight rendezvous at Huddle House, which everyone knows, is where the magic happens. I filled my empty stomach with a "Golden Waffle" (yes, it says it on the menu), and the rest of my group feasted on various other items.

I ended up returning home at roughly 2:30 AM, after dropping my date, Stephen Moore's date, and Stephen off at their respective homes. Unfortunately, each of the 3 homes spanned to the three corners of the state of South Carolina [hyperbole].

And that was that. The prom ended, tuxes were returned, and life returned to normal.


Tomorrow, I'll be inducted into NHS (or, National Honors Society). How was I even eligible? I have no idea. But somehow it all worked out in my favor. In other academic news, I'll be graduating roughly one year from now. A part of me is completely excited and eager to dive into another chapter of my life, and another part of me is wanting to live like I am right now for the rest of my life. All good things come to an end, though, and I know that God has great things in mind for me. I could use everyones/anyones prayers in that area of my life (Listening to God's voice, and knowing what paths to take in the future). I'm very appreciative.

That's all for now. I'm going to try to post more regularly. I apologize for the short break in my otherwise steady fidelity with this thing. Not only do I feel guilty for not keeping fresh posts up, but my writing skills are also shrinking into a shriveled mass of uncreativity.

Anyways, enough rambling. goodnight, all.