manly man

i startled myself when i got home from work the other day and looked in the mirror. the reflection that i saw was of a dirty, dusty working man, wielding a tape measure, work gloves, and safety glasses. i went to Cooper at 7 o'clock on thursday (last thursday) morning not knowing what to expect. since that morning, i have been drained of a whole lot of energy. but all is well, and i'm finally actually making money. the last time i had a steady job was when i wore red visors and scooped overpriced ice-cream.

on thursday i worked from 7am-3:30pm.
on friday i worked from 5am-1pm.
on saturday i worked from 5am-1pm.
yesterday (monday), i worked from 7am-5:30pm
and today, i worked from 7am-5:30pm again.

i was filled with the urge to display my work schedule so far, just so that you (loved audience) can get a general impression of how things have been this past week.

i am a saw man. i saw aluminum, galvanized and stainless steel, fiberglass, and whatever else the world throws my way. the basic scheme is that i am given stacks upon stacks of work orders. these work orders have diagrams and such telling the kind and quantity of material i need, what length to cut, and how many cuts to make. i do this all day long.

one of the trickiest parts of this process is obtaining the material. i'm working in a gigantic warehouse/factory, and there are gigantic aluminum beams and tubing lining the wall behind me. there is also a gigantic crane that moves back and forth overhead from one point of the warehouse to another. this crane is attached to the ceiling, and there is a remote that hangs from it (in case you were wondering). to gather material, one must tie a strap to the middle of a giant bulk of aluminum (or whatever) and then operate the crane so that it is nearly directly over the strap. i noticed a resemblance to the 'crane game' that can be found in arcades, but on a much larger and more dangerous scale. the hook of the crane is then strapped to the material, and the operator must be sure that it is balanced, then try to guide it to it's desired destination. it isn't as easy as it sounds. in fact, it is quite frightening. it's just so big.

anyways. next monday, i'm supposed to be starting second shift. second shift is from 3:30 until midnight. from then on out, my social life will be in shambles. ho-hum. i need money more than a social life right now, anyways. i guess.

a tidal wave of fatigue has just washed over me. or crashed on top of me. or something. so i'm going to leave this computer screen before i have a seizure.


love, steven


ps. i haven't shaved in a week. lumberjack holmes!

carefree days are over

I just recieved a call from Executive Services. I start work at Cooper Power tomorrow at 7 o'clock.



Whew.

....

i have alot on my chest. it has started to feel like my own thoughts are drowning me in my head, so i figured that my best bet to rid myself of that feeling would be to unload all of my thoughts here, like i always do...

I'm not sure what it was. I was just overcome with a strange combination of nostalgia and conviction and a dash of insight all at the same time. I think that this feeling was birthed as a result of a conversation I had with a few friends earlier this evening and also reading over some old emails a few minutes ago. Sometimes I feel like this generation is losing touch with the meaning of 'integrity'. We've forgotten what it means to "stay as far from the line as possible" rather than "let's see how close we can get". Of course, as you move closer to the line, the line seems to slowly moves further away, then before you know it, you've crossed the original line that you said that you'd never cross. It's a simple concept, I just have trouble conveying things in simple terms.

I'm aware of the fact that people have their own interpretations of the law and what the Bible says and what is right and wrong. Sometimes it's difficult for me to see how some issues aren't just black and white. Because some certainly are in my mind. I suppose that I can only really go by the truth that I have found to be true in scripture and stick to that. God's Word is infallible. I just have to understand that my convictions can't be everyone else's convictions. My convictions are my convictions. And all of that is in God's department.

If anyone wants to contribute any words of wisdom, please do so.

the job search

i've come to the conclusion that the time has come that i need to begin searching for a job. i have been postponing the inevitable for quite awhile, but as graduation money dwindles, i need a new source of income. i plan to put in my application at executive services in the next couple of days. definitely before the end of the week.

today i have begun to conquer the beast that is my room. i have an unbelievable amount of junk, and it has amassed over the last semester of school and these first couple weeks of summer. and now i have mount everest in the form of clothes, old notebooks, papers, and random objects looking down at me from on high in the middle of my room. it's time to send in reinforcements.

i now wonder why, with all of the tasks left unaccomplished in my life, i decided to post something. that question will remain unanswered.