criminal offenses

About a month (or so) ago, I received my first ever speeding violation. I was driving home from a performance which took place in Columbia. It was a little past 1:00 in the morning, and I was alone. As a was driving along a dark country road outside of Newberry, I noticed a pair of unmistakable flashing lights behind me. My heart wept.

Originally, my ticket was for $180 and 4 points were to be taken from my license. Today I drove to the courtroom in Newberry, and the ticket was knocked down to $76 and 2 points were taken off. I've learned my lesson. I hope. For now.



more later maybe.

every intention fell to the floor

What happens when what we are "practicing" doesn't exactly line up with the things we are "preaching"? I've been convicted of this felony. I am so quick to speak with the tongue of a saint, while I perform the actions of a rotten sinner with such ease. Indeed, I am a sinner. It is solely by God's grace that I am washed white by the redeeming blood of Christ. I am genuinely ashamed that I have taken my salvation so lightly.

I was thinking earlier today about how important it was for me to sincerely strive to practice what I preach. By no means have I attempted to embark on a quest for perfection, for such is unattainable. However, there are painstakingly obvious areas of my life in which I have been a miserable failure. And I am without excuse. God has offered me His strength, yet I depend on my own. God offers me peace, yet I create chaos for myself.

How would I respond if I were approached by a thief who exhorted me to never steal? I wouldn't respond. His words would be useless to me. Why would I heed the warnings of a beggar who has thrown away his fortune?

And why would anyone around me heed my warnings of certain pitfalls in their life while I am daily diving headfirst into them in my own life?

There's so much for my little mind to digest.

two to one

well. it's all done. graduation has come and gone. and i survived. for some reason completely unknown to me, i felt really uncomfortable after the actual graduation program (commencement?). everyone went to the recessional to eat cake and take pictures. and i sort of felt like i was lost. i don't know. everyone seemed to have these strong bonds with everyone else, which is good. i just couldn't find any bonds of my own - hence the being lost feeling. anywho. i'm utterly thrilled to be out of high-school. but i honestly feel like there's a storm on my horizon. and as much as i'd like to believe that i can just ignore it, i'm pretty sure i'm going to end up in the middle.

God keeps on surprising me in the ways that He teaches me things. Like, I keep on noticing these little areas in life that I struggle with. Then I realize the manner in which He is growing me in that area and making me stronger and more equipped for life. It's a hard thing to really put words to. that's why i won't try to go any further.

actually, it's 1:16 AM (morning) and it has been a long and trying day. i think i'm going to dive into my bed and sleep for a few hours.

happy graduation, class of 2006.

"Today's Mercies for Today's Troubles"

"Sometimes we wonder if we will have the mercy to stand in terrible testing. Yes, we will. Peter says, 'If you are reviled for the name of Christ, you are blessed, because the Spirit of glory and of God rests on you' (1 Peter 4:14). When the reviling comes, the Spirit of glory comes. It happened for Stephen as he was being stoned (Acts 7:55-60). It will happen for you. When the Spirit and glory are needed, they will come."

The latter was an excerpt from "A Godward Life", by John Piper. I recieved this book on my birthday (the 19th) from a family who I respect a great deal. Although life for me has been pretty full with finishing the school year, preparing for graduation, and trying to complete reading Blue Like Jazz, this book has already managed to bless me.

The past two years have been filled with considerable times of pain and change in my life, and in the life of my family as a whole. I departed indefinitely from the place I was chiefly raised in (the Philippines). I have learned more about God's grace in 24 months than I have ever learned in 18 years of life. I lost my grandfather, a man I admired and loved and who I aspire to be like as I grow older. I will be graduating from high-school in less than a week. God has been merciful through every bit of it. In all things He has revealed small glimpses of His glory, and how I simply am unable to do anything at all without Him.

"If you are reviled for the name of Christ, you are blessed, because the Spirit of glory and of God rests on you"

The question lingers in my mind: Who am I being reviled for? Am I earnestly and honestly seeking to please God? Or am I half-heartedly stumbling through life, treating God's mercy more as a free ticket to Glory rather than a divine sacrifice from a Heavenly Father?

There is way too much on my mind to write anything else on this topic. There will probably be more later.

__________________________________________

Tomorrow is my last exam. Ever. At least of my high-school career. I have to be at school at 8:00 to take a comprehensive Algebra II exam. Once I finish, I will be free to fly flappingly from the hallways of GCS and into the wild blue yonder. Almost. I still will need to report for duty on Wednesday morning to take care of some last-minute legalities. Graduation is Saturday at Grace Community Church (On Woodlawn Road). Come one, come all.

According to FedEx, a MacBook with my name on it is currently venturing its way from Anchorage, Alaska, down to my eager little paws here in South Carolina. It should be arriving Thursday afternoon. Everyone is welcome to drop by and help me celebrate.

My head is spinning from too much thinking. Or maybe from gazing into the computer monitor for too long. I've wasted much time on here this afternoon - mostly here playing a game called "Anagrammatic". I'm hooked.

First of all, the MacBook has arrived.













Hip hip hooray for Intel processors and build-in iSight cameras.

_________________________________

Second of all, I'm at a loss for words. I don't know what has happened to the world, but everything seems to be on the fast track towards a giant garbage disposal. It is almost as in the past two or three weeks there has been a climax of "bad" things happening, and sooner or later, I feel like everyone and everything is just going to explode.

Pray for peace.

under the weather

Since about noon today, I've had a sore throat. I'm not a huge fan of sore throats; I always feel like I'm suffocating. I hate to swallow, because when I do, it feels as though hot embers are being shoveled into my esophagus. Since noon, I've acquired a mild headache and a bit of warmth (not sure if it will reach a feverish point or not). Needless to say, there's nothing I want more than a tall glass of ice water and a comfy bed. And maybe a couple pain-killers.

Graduation is approaching swiftly, however, not swiftly enough for me. Pray that I'm able to endure. It's going to be close.

I've been patiently waiting for the rumored release of Apple's new MacBook. It is apparently the replacement for the current iBook - I've heard that it will run on an Intel processor, which will be a pleasant alternative the G4 PowerPC processor that they are known for functioning on. There was a rumor that it was going to be released on May 9th, but seeing as it is now May 10th, that rumor has been lay to rest. The two dates that are currently being ridden are next Tuesday, the 16th, or the 19th. Which is also my birthday. That would be splendid.


I'm weary.

[listening to: jack's mannequin]
[mood: sickly}

and today was a day just like any other

it was you i was thinking of