tonight i saw that i was sincere

[listening to: the rocket summer - "never knew"]

i don't know how many times i've given this advice to friends. "you just have to roll with the punches." tonight it hit me like an atomic bomb. how well am I rolling with the punches? i sincerely hope that i'm getting better at relating with my surroundings. in the past, i've been horrible at this.

i'm also really bad at waiting. i have this incredibly strong feeling inside of me as i'm writing this, but, words aren't taking shape; i don't think anyone knows how much that i wish that they would. it's times like these that i hate not being able to express myself.

i've been trying to re-analyze my actions, and why i do the things i do. i respond to social confrontation very poorly. there are rarely times that i can respond rationally to a situation that arises. i don't feel the need to be specific.

i'm out of things to say.

so, tomorrow is a tennis match. us against cambridge. we're going to die. that's all there is to it.

i'm really looking forward to seeing what happens in my life in the next year. there are endless possibilities. but i can't face it all alone.



wow. after a completely off-the-wall blog, i doubt that there is a soul on earth that wants to read my writing ever again. you have my deepest apologies. i needed to get some things out of my system, and i thought that by blogging, i may have been able to.



i really do try to be sincere.