when they really get to know you, they will run

i've been doing alot of thinking lately. about my life, namely. i've given alot of thought to who i am, where i'm going, and what i've done up to this point. now i realize, that these are rather generalized and common things to think about, but i can assure you that at some point you'll realize the importance of such things, if you haven't already.

i don't think that i'm in the place i should be with God right now. actually, to be completely honest, i know that i'm not. and i think that this lack of His presence in my life is having alot to do with the things going on in my life. i don't believe that God is punishing me, however, for not being close with Him. I don't think that's the way that He works. But I do think that He's heartbroken, having His own creation not pay nearly enough attention to Him - or listen for His voice in all moments of the day. I hope that from this realization, I can strengthen my relationship with God, and sort some things out in my life. prayers would be appreciated.


in other news, my jacket came in today. and despite it being XL, it fits fine. it's peculiar though, because it really fits like a medium on me. and i'm quite confident that i'm not nearly large enough a person to fit so snugly in an XL jacket. but hey, maybe i just haven't looked in the mirror lately. maybe i'm a grotesquely huge behemoth of a boy, being tricked into thinking otherwise. who knows. but honestly, wouldn't that be an awful thing to wake up to? nevermind, dumb topic.

i practiced for MM04 (hahahaha) with jonathan and ashby today. i think it might be coming together, but we'll see. properly termed, it's Midnight Madness, but as a joke the three of us, among ourselves, refer to it as MM04. it becomes less and less of a joke each time we do it. haha.

i might have to take geometry next semester. i don't want to. but maybe it'll be good. er... we'll see.

personally, i can't wait for this semester to be over. i'm tired of it. to be more specific, i'm tired of Western Civilization II.

christmas couldn't come too soon.


"hold on to me darling I've got nowhere else to go"
[listening to: ghost train - counting crows]
[mood - contemplative]